Chapter 4.13 Spoiled

Life wasn’t easy.

Juniper always felt bad thinking that, as her life was amazing. She had two dads that loved her unconditionally (granted, they weren’t biological, but Juniper always saw that as they actually wanted her, and didn’t just happen upon her by a broken condom or a missed pill), she had a younger brother who, despite annoying her to the breaking point, she loved and knew was loved back.

 

Right now, she even had this whole new family! She had sisters, and she got to meet her mom, and met her (kind of) real dad. Her home was a flat in the city centre, and because both her new sisters had quite a lot of money, it was bought outright, no rent to pay, and the bills were usually super low (granted Juniper didn’t pay that much towards the bills; her job paid a lot less than Lainey’s, and Roisin had a fuck load of inheritance that basically means she never has to work, whereas Juniper has university crap to pay for).

 

By university crap, that involves the one year she did of law school (she always admired how cool her dad was in court, even if it was super long hours), and then after that first year, she took a gap year that’s kind of just… Lasted. Lasted to the point where she realised that university just wasn’t for her. After spending so long in the hell hole that was the education system, she quickly realised that more school and more stress just wasn’t for her. And that’s okay because not everyone goes to university.

 

Like that guy who created that social media site. He didn’t go to university and now he’s a billionaire! He has so much money, he probably wipes with big notes.

Then again, he probably didn’t spend much of his time chilling behind a bar, knowing that it’s going to be dead for majority of the morning because who starts drinking at a hipster-y, trying to be something but it’s not, bar at nine in the morning?

 

At least that was something: she was assistant manager here, probably because she was one of the only people to last here longer than a year. She never knew how quick the turn over was in customer service jobs until she started working at one.

She’s met, interviewed, trained, worked with and said goodbye to so many people here in such a short time. With a few people, she tried to stay in touch, say they’d be friends even outside of work, but that never happened. No one stays in contact with each other, especially not with the assistant manager and not in this line of work.

 

“We’re still closed.” She announced upon hearing the door open, not bothering to look up at whoever just walked in. It was only her in this morning as someone called in sick last minute, and she had a lot of stuff to do. Hell, she even had to come in early to take care of admin-y things as well as front of house things.

“My car broke down. I was just hoping I could use the phone to inform the office.” A deep voice responded, and the sound of his footsteps was heard as he approached the bar. “I left my phone overnight at the office. I didn’t think I would need it.”

 

Restraining the urge to sigh, Juniper got her phone out of her pocket and placed it on the bar. The man looked her up and down as she did this, and he smirked. “Funny. I thought it would have been company policy to not have your phone on you.” Obviously trying to tease her, he then added. “Want me to ask your manager?”

Blinking a few times, she replied. “I am the manager. Well, technically assistant, but the manager can’t fire me on her own, and the owner’s a bit of an ass and wouldn’t care that much anyway.”

 

“So, the passion’s died?” The guy in the suit asked in response, to which Juniper smirked.

“It’s a customer service job. The passion was never really there to start with. Granted, there are some of us who are interested in this kind of thing, like how all the different alcohols are made and stored, but some of us are rich kids who ask for a bar, and then don’t know how to run one.” Shrugging, she then pointed to the smokers area. “If you need privacy, you can step out on the terrace. I can’t really let you into the bathrooms yet because I need to check them over first and I’ve got too much stuff to do.”

“Noted.” Nodding once, he took her phone and stepped out onto the terrace.

 

Watching him, Juniper felt her mind start to race. Since living with her two sisters and their boyfriends (well, fiance in Roisin’s case, and… Caleb in Lainey’s case) , it’s made her think about where she was in her love life, to the point where whenever she sees a guy, she immediately thinks of marriage and what their babies would be called, which just in turn freaked her out. She had to remind herself several times that her sisters were both a fair deal older than she was, and so she needed to remind herself that she was still young and did not need to imagine the wedding theme when any guy said hello to her.

He was cute though.

 

When the guy walked back into the room, he handed Juniper her phone back. He took a moment, and then asked her. “How come bars open so early? I can’t imagine many people wanting to drink at this time.”

“You’d be pleasantly surprised.” Juniper grinned in response, taking her phone back. “I’m not complaining. The longer I’m in, the more I get paid.” Shrugging, she continued to absently wipe down the bar. “Whether or not that amount it worth it however… Different story.” Taking a moment, she then asked. “What do you do?”

 

“I work at a law firm, I’m a senior partner.” He smiled at her, subtly adjusting his tie.

Smiling slightly, she commented. “Oh, that’s cool. I actually did a year of law school. Couldn’t do uni though, it wasn’t for me. It was sad because I really wanted to go into law.”

“That’s a shame…. Lady.” Chuckling, he asked. “What’s your name, sorry? My name’s Sebastian, Sebastian Darcy.”

 

“My name’s Juniper, Mr Darcy.” Juniper grinned, teasing him and flirting lightly. Was it inappropriate? Yes. Did she care that much? No.  “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” She quoted, putting on a country accent.

“Funny how your name’s Juniper and you work in a bar.” He noted, grinning at her. “You know that quote off by heart?”

“My dads had a big library and I had no friends growing up.” Shrugging, Juniper grinned back at him.

 

“Anyway, why didn’t you continue law? Quite a lot of firms hire young people for apprenticeships and internships.” He pointed out, watching her. “In fact, I know a place that’s got an open interview for someone tomorrow.” Sebastian mentioned in an unsubtle manner, sliding over a business card.

“Interesting.” Taking the card, Juniper looked it over. “Interesting.” Putting it in her back pocket, she grinned at him. “Maybe I’ll show up.”

 

“Maybe I’ll see you there, I’m in charge of interviews.” He noted, turning to walk out of the door. “I mean, I will be, unless they fire me for flirting with an attractive barmaid instead of working.”

“Well, I mean, if I get it, I know a bar that’ll be hiring.” She told him, grinning at him as he walked out of the bar.

 

“Well someone’s got a spring in their step.” Roisin commented, seeing Juniper happy after work, which was weird. “Good day at work today I’m guessing? Did a rude customer fall over again?”

Grinning at the memory, Juniper shook her head. “No,not this time. I uhm, I’ve been offered an interview at this law firm.”

“Oh shit.” Roisin spoke, dumbfounded. “That’s so cool! What happened?”

 

“This guy came in, he was a lawyer at this big firm. I recognise it because my dad knew those guys at that firm, and he said they’re looking for interns to do like this apprenticeship thing. I think based on the fact that I’ve done a year at law school, it’ll probably help me out.” Juniper grinned, showing the business card off to Roisin.

“That’s so cool!” Roisin grinned in response, but her face soon momentarily fell. “Just promise me you’ll be careful at this new job, if you get it, though, right?”

 

“I’m always careful, Ro.” Giving her a weird smile, she then commented. “It’s not like I’m purposefully doing anything stupid, hell I’ve got a better job lined up for me, one where I won’t have to clean vomit out of toilets if someone gets too drunk. Hell, no one will get drunk there! And if they do, it’ll be some fancy office party and I can get drunk too.” Grinning, she enthused.

“You know what I mean, and you know I’m just a worrier.”

 

After running through the routine a few times before doing it in dress, Caleb and Lainey took a break for a short period of time.

“Hey Lain? You ever thought about competing again?” The question wasn’t a surprising one, after all, he could see that she obviously missed skating.

Freezing, Lainey wasn’t so sure how to respond. The idea of competing again… She wasn’t so sure how ready she was for that again. She knew she’d never do anything as stupid as last time, but she wasn’t all too sure how ready she was to compete again. Obviously she’s thought about it, but… “I, I don’t know. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know.”

 

“You know, you’re a lot different than the person you used to be.” Skating over to her, he said that. “You’re stronger than what you were, and I know you’d never do something like that again.” Pausing for a moment, he added. “I also know that it’s probably secretly killing you not skating. So, here’s what I’m thinking; the Winter Olympics are still two years away so not focusing on them, but the last day to apply for the first heat for getting into Worlds is in about a month. There’s still time for us to enter as a duo, if you want to.”

 

Smirking somewhat, Lainey grinned at him. “Well, I guess you do kinda need me to compete. I’ve seen you doing singles, and the Lainey replacement wasn’t all that great. Well, not as great as me.”

Grinning at her answer, he agreed, his hand sliding over hers. “Yeah, she was no you. She had modesty.” Teasing her, he was genuinely happy that she wanted to compete again. It just wasn’t the same doing singles or with someone else.

 

She then smiled at him, her arms moving to go around him, and his moving in tandem . “And, I have really missed competing. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that.”

Shrugging slightly, he smiled back at her in response. “Hey, it’s nothing. I guess I just know you better than you think I do. I mean, it’s what friends are for, right?”

… Friends?

Smiling in response, despite what he just labelled their relationship, Lainey agreed. “Yeah, it’s what friends are for.”

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AN: Whoops she updated 😛

 

Guess who’s momentarily back?! WoOOOoooOOOooooo

 

Chapter 4.12 Interlude; I’m the Bad Guy

“You have a visitor.”

Looking up at the armed guard, Juniper blinked a few times before asking. “I do?”

“Two.” Bowing his head slightly, the guard adjusted the way he was holding his gun. “They convinced us it was an important family matter, but we’ll be taking away two weeks worth of phone calls because of this unscheduled visit.”

 

Standing, Juniper decided to ignore that fact about losing her phone calls, silently wondering who it was. She knew it couldn’t be Nick as he usually stuck to the allowed times, as did the girls. Part of her wasn’t all too worried about losing her phone privileges; she had ways around it.

Holding out her wrists begrudgingly, she waited for the guard to handcuff her, scowling at him every moment. Juniper was aware of the fact that being locked away has changed her, but she would argue if anyone told her she had become a worse person. Being locked away like this made her realise how much her family meant to her, and just how much she was willing to fight for her family.

 

She’s not seen her own family in a long time. Ashton went kinda AWOL after Melody died, and Belle and Nathaniel refused to talk to her after the trial. Well, Belle refused to talk to her as soon as she got the incriminating evidence that she had killed Sam. Nathaniel on the other hand, she was speaking to him up until the guilty verdict. He’s never come to visit her.

After everything was said. After she had to bring up putrid memories of her husband’s abuse, and claiming that what she did was in self-defence. Saying that it was Sam who killed her sister and best friend and not having anyone, not even her own fucking brothers and sister believe her… Needless to say it resonated with her. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got.

 

Being convicted as a serial killer (which Juniper thought was a bit of a stretch) and as a fugitive spending years on the run has given her something of a name here. It still wasn’t clear to her whether or not she should be proud of the fact that she had lackeys here. Most of them were high security too. All in prison for killing their husbands or boyfriends, with as equal reason as she had. One woman’s husband’s laziness drove her to the edge, another woman’s boyfriend already had six other wives (one of those Mormons). Being here and learning the stories of other women made her realise one thing:

Men were either amazing and loving, the best people in the world and so supportive, or men were disgusting, rotten pigs who took women for advantage, and then would cry to the law if a woman tried to get her own back.

 

As she walked past a lot of the cells, there was silence. People here either feared her, wanted to be with her, or wanted her dead. All because of a silly little thing called a reputation. However, because of that reputation, it seemed as if even the guards were on high alert around her, which was unfair. The only other person they treated as unfairly was a woman she would call her equal in here. She was known for being a mafia boss who killed her husband and the entire mafia turned on her, blaming everything on her. She was the other scary bitch that the guards picked on.

Many of the guards here fell into the second category of men. Dirty rotten disgusting pigs. The more twisted side of her would love to hear the sound of those pigs squealing.

 

As she got to the private visiting room, she grinned as she saw Roisin. “Ro.” Sitting down opposite, she grinned. “How are you? What brings you here?” She asked, excited see her eldest daughter. She didn’t get to see Roisin as frequently as she would like.

“Well, uhm… There’s something I need to tell you.” Roisin started, smiling in return. She tried to seem natural hiding her hands under the table, but it was really difficult! She didn’t realise how frequently she held her hands on the table until now.

 

Looking her up and down, Juniper smiled somewhat uneasily. “What…?” Part of her was suspicious of the way Roisin was acting. From when she was little even until now, she’s always been awful at hiding secrets.

“Well, you know how Joe and I are still together, and that he’s come home for quite a while…” Roisin started, looking to the side. It was hard keeping things from her mom, especially when she looked at her like that.

 

“Yes, I still know who Joe, the boy who grew up next door to us and who’s mom was my best friend for a while, is and that he’s your, boyfriend.” Pausing slightly before saying that, Juniper raised an eyebrow. That had to be it, right? Hopefully. Even though she knew she would love every grandchild she may one day have, she didn’t feel old enough for her kids to be having kids just yet.

“Well, he’s not my boyfriend anymore.” Beaming, Roisin showed off her left hand. “We got engaged.”

 

“You got engaged?!” Juniper asked, grinning as she gently took Roisin’s hand, before letting go as the guard in the room cleared his throat. “I can’t believe it! My little baby Ro’s getting married.” Smiling at her, there was a part of her that hurt, knowing she’d not be able to see her own daughter’s wedding. It was something she had already come to terms with though, but it still stung.

“Yeah, we’re getting married.” Beaming, Roisin hesitated for a second before saying. “We’re not so sure when though because of Joe’s deployment. It makes it hard to pick a good time to do it. But still! Someday!”

 

“I’m so happy for you, baby.” Grinning still, Juniper paused for a second before she asked. “Is it just you here today? I half figured when I saw you that Lainey might be here too. The two of you often come together.”

“Lainey’s been practising skating a lot. She’s been back on the ice for a while. These people wanted to show off her and Caleb skating for this silly TV show. I don’t know if she’s going to go back into doing it professionally, I’d be surprised if she doesn’t. I’m keeping an eye on her though, because you know.” Roisin informed her, and paused before saying. “There is someone else who wants to see you though.”

 

“I think I remember Nick saying. Make sure Lainey’s okay, alright? Keep an eye on her room and make sure she’s not bringing home anything weird.” Almost warning her, Juniper then asked. “Who else has come with you?” There were very few people who came to see her. After the thrill of the story died down, it was only really her husband and kids who came to see her.

Roisin tried to come up with an answer, but really didn’t know how. Instead, she stood up while mumbling. “Just… Someone I met recently.”

It was a few moments before the door opened. Even though she hasn’t seen her in so many years, Juniper recognised her. A mother recognises her own child, no matter how long it’s been.

 

The door closed softly behind Roisin, leaving the two Junipers (and the guard) in the room. The two Junipers were just looking at each other.

The older Juniper just stared at her, dumbfounded. It baffled her how she managed to find her. She probably managed to find Roisin first, and then Roisin lead her here, presumably. Even still, seeing her estranged, adopted daughter here… The older Juniper tried to not get emotional seeing her.

 

“I…” Juniper started, unsure how how to react. Somewhat awkwardly, she smiled at her daughter. “It’s nice to see you again.” It was weird, all those times she thought about her, that little baby that she gave away… That little baby was all grown up now. Sure, she had been given pictures of her when she was growing up, and even went to a few early birthday parties, but it always seemed harder leaving than joyous going, so eventually she stopped keeping in contact.

The younger Juniper pressed her lips into a line, not so sure what to say either. When she got here, she had this whole monologue prepared about how angry and hurt she was that she never saw her, and that she had to find Roisin and how she had to do all the work to find her. But, finally meeting her mom, all those negative emotions just seemed to… Fade.

 

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me, don’t you?” Juniper assumed, smiling slightly at her. Honestly? A large part of her was happy to see her, even if it did mean that she now would have to answer some very difficult questions, but seeing her baby again made her heart race. Juniper wanted to know all about her, all about her life, every single report card and grade, every detention and times she was grounded. She wanted to know about any heartbreak or romances. She wanted to know about everything, about all she had missed out on.

Pausing for a long time and steeling herself, the younger Juniper asked. “I just want to know why.” It took all of her strength to keep her voice from cracking, and even still it failed her. “Why didn’t you want to keep me?”

 

Being met with coldness was hard, but understandable; from Juniper’s point of view, she was nothing more than a girl stupid enough to get pregnant accidentally, and couldn’t deal with the consequences all grown up. Sighing heavily, the older Juniper mumbled. “I kinda figured you’d ask that.” Biting her lower lip, she took a moment before continuing. “Don’t get the wrong impression, I wanted to keep you. I wanted so badly to keep you-”

“Then why didn’t you?” Interrupting, the younger Juniper asked that. She didn’t care if it was being rude, she wanted to know. What made her so different from Roisin or any of her mom’s other kids?

 

“I was young, and I was living with Lainey’s, you know Lainey, right? You must do. I was living with Lainey’s dad at the time, Nick. Have you met Nick?” She asked, and got a nod in response. “Well, I was living with him and Roisin and Lainey in this kinda small three bedroom flat. Not too dissimilar to Roisin’s and Lainey’s, apart from I think mine was a little bit smaller than theirs, maybe. Less bathrooms at least. I was about twenty three when I found out about you, so probably only a little bit older than what Lainey is now. I was dating this older, rich guy who I was only half serious about. I couldn’t really see a future with him, but he made me happy in the short term. Me and your dad were pretty much on the verge of breaking up when I found out I was pregnant with you.” Juniper started, unsure of how much detail she should go into. She figured it would probably be easiest to just tell the story as it happened, rather than dwell on the emotional side. She knew that there would be emotional scars that no number of times repeating ‘I wanted to keep you’ can heal. Even though it was the truth, and there were a lot of times she wished she did keep her, there wasn’t much that could be done.

 

.7.

“Wait, so my dad was the rich guy?” Younger Juniper asked, and then explained. “My dads told me that there was some thing about who my real dad was.”

Pressing her lips into a line, Juniper nodded. “Yes, your dad was the rich guy. I’ll get onto that a little bit later. Anyway, I was terrified when I found out about you. Roisin was different because I was married when I had Roisin and we were planning on having kids, but you were a little surprise. It’s funny because the first person who knew about you was my friend Sarah, Joe’s mom, as in Roisin’s Joe.” Pausing for a moment, she then followed up with. “I told your dad next. He wasn’t very supportive to put it in the nicest way possible. He didn’t really like Roisin, so part of me expected him to react badly. He didn’t want you, and I’m assuming because of his wealth and status, he had been in a few situations like this before with women probably similar to me. Whether or not they were telling the truth, I don’t know. There’s a lot of sick people out there, trust me.”

 

“Your dad gave me a cheque, and told me to ‘do the right thing’. He also was the one who brought up how unequipped for another baby I was. Roisin and Lainey were already sharing a room, and Nick and I had different rooms because, well, we were still friends at that point and we couldn’t really share a room. Anyway, after I talked with your dad, I went back to the flat and told Nick. He told me how he’d be there for me, no matter what I decided. I knew from the start that I couldn’t keep you, even though I wanted you more than anything. I thought for a long time about what to do, and whenever I thought about taking your dad’s advise, I just saw Roisin and Lainey together, and it really resonated with me that you were another little Roisin. Different, obviously, but still. So, I decided to give you to someone else. I knew I couldn’t give you the life you deserved, but I still wanted you to have one.” It felt hard talking about this. For so long she had just almost burried her feelings and emotions regarding the subject, because it was easier.

 

“It took me so long to work out who I wanted to give you to. I had pretty much every file from every adoption agency within two and a half’s drive. Then, I found your dads’ file, and I just knew that they were the people who should have you, and everything was sorted for a while, until a few days before you were born. Your adopted dad Lukas and I spent a lot of time together. Maybe he was doing it so you’d recognise his voice, or maybe he just wanted to spend time with me and know better where you were coming from, I don’t know. We were out one day, and I saw your dad. He started texting me soon after that, and said that he missed me and such. Feeling rather lonely, I started texting him back and saying that I missed him too. It wasn’t too long before he called saying that he was worried that his finances would go to waste without someone to pass them down to, and that he wanted full custody of you.”

 

“Hearing your dad say that broke my heart. I wanted so badly for you to go to Anthony and Lukas, your dads. So, I made up that I wasn’t sure if you were his, in a way to get him off my case, and he called my bluff and requested a paternity test on you. I never told your dads the full reason behind why he wanted a test, mostly because I knew how it would end, but it turns out I really didn’t. Your dad always thought there was something going on between me and Nick, which there wasn’t at the time, but Nick ended up giving a sample too. When your dad left the room and the nurse did too, Nick switched the names on the samples so they’d think that you were his, instead of your dad’s. So, because of that, you got to go with your dads and live with them.” Finishing the story, she then gave a small smile. “But I did still see you. You probably won’t remember, but your dads used to call me Aunty Jenny, because that’s what they knew me as; Jennifer. So, I did see you from time to time.”

 

“Why did you stop seeing me?” Younger Juniper asked after a while of processing what her mother had just said. It was partially hard to process, as it sounded more like a telenovella rather than her mom’s life before she was born.

“You don’t have kids, do you?” Juniper asked rhetorically, knowing the answer was no. “When you do, you’ll know how hard it is to leave them, even if it’s just dropping them off at school. I mean, fuck, on Roisin’s first day of daycare I cried for hours, just wanting her back, and that was only for a few hours. It hurt so much saying goodbye to you the first time, and I had to relive that every time I said goodbye to the point where I couldn’t keep putting myself through that pain. I wanted you so badly, but I couldn’t have you because you were a weird mix of mine but also not mine.” Glancing over at the guard as he cleared his throat and wordlessly pointed to the clock, she mumbled. “We can’t talk for all too much longer I’m afraid. I can only talk for a certain amount of time.”

 

“What?! But! No! I-!” The younger Juniper started. She had only just met her mom, and now she had to leave again?! No! That wasn’t fair! That wasn’t-!

As if interrupting her thoughts, Juniper took her daughter’s hand, against the will of the guard. Palm against palm, she mumbled. “There’s a lot of things about reputation, Junie. A lot. A reputation can make or break someone. No matter what you hear about me, the protests your sisters say against my being held in here, don’t think less of me by it.” Giving a somewhat weird smile, she stated. “I’m not some pathetic little damsel in distress. I’m not some princess being kept in some nasty place. I am, and always will be, a bad guy. There’s some things I’ve done in my life that would probably make you feel horrified, besides why I’m in here.” Pressing her hand closed, Juniper smiled knowingly at her daughter. “Believe what the news reporters said about me. I’m not evil mind you, I just have questionably moral thoughts. I’m no one’s hero, so don’t make me out to be a hero. I’m a psychopath who killed her first husband, sister and best friend, and hid that fact from her family until I got caught. There are tough people in here who are scared shitless of me, and there’s quite a lot of people who follow me and do things for me. Why? Because I’m the bad guy, Junie.”

 

Juniper watched her mom stand, and the guards handcuff her again. Before she could go, the younger Juniper stood, her hands still clenched. “Wait! I just want to ask you something. I know I’ll visit you again soon but I just need to know something.”

Juniper looked at her daughter, refusing to move until she had spoken. The younger Juniper took a moment before asking. “Do you have any regrets? About me I mean?” With what felt like her heart being in her throat, she asked that question.

 

“Yes. Every day. But, I know that it was my decision, and I know that if I did keep you, well, I don’t know. I can’t imagine what I would have thought, whether I would have regretted keeping you when I probably couldn’t handle another baby.” Looking directly at her, and seeing the same eyes as her own, she stated. “I always thought about you though, always. I’m so happy I got to see you again.”

 

Juniper stayed stood in silence, watching the door where her mother had just left. Out of all the possible ways she imagined her mother, that wasn’t one of them. Her mom was a lot more refined than what people made her out to be, and a lot less of a crazed killer than what the media portrayed her as. She seemed… Normal-ish. After a few moments, she opened up what her mom had given her. She recognised it, it was the same picture that she had shown Roisin and Lainey when she first met them, a picture of the her mom and her when she was born, but it was damaged from being folded up and kept folded.

However, it was slightly different. “Juniper & Baby Junie.” was written in messy handwriting in faded pen. In very different handwriting (much neater handwriting) underneath, there was a message. “I love you, with all my heart. I think about you a lot, all the time. I wish I could have spent more time with you, and learned about the young woman you became. You’ll always be my biggest what if. P.S. You inherit your talent from me”.

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AN: OMG! We got to see Juniper again! (adult Juniper i mean lmao)

I dunno what else to say about this chapter other than thanks for reading *peace emoji*

Chapter 4.11 So Emotional

Loosen, foot in, tighten, tightest around the ankle, secure around the hooks, secure bow and tuck

Approaching the ice with her skate guards still on, Lainey took some time to just look at it, and to just stand in her skates again to get used to the feel. It didn’t feel like it’s been about a year since she was last on the ice. There was a sense of great familiarity as soon as her skates were on.

Biting her lower lip, it also made her remember the reason why she quit.

 

Constantly fighting to be the best and never feeling adequate. Feeling the need to be on something to make herself feel like she was doing at least something right. Doubting her own abilities and doubting all the years of practice. Hurting those closest to her and doing serious damage to those relationships. Not to mention the damage being on the enhancers caused both mentally and physically.

It felt like however strongly she was being pulled to the ice, something else equally as strong was pushing her away.

But when the hell has she ever decided to listen to someone telling her not to do something?

 

Carefully, she took off the skate guards and placed them next to the rink’s entrance. Involuntarily, she held her breath as she stepped onto the ice. With the remote in hand for the speakers, she pressed the play button. As soon as music filled the room, she placed the remote down on the edge of the rink.

Inhaling, and then exhaling, she began to skate.

 

“You said we were going somewhere special?” Roisin asked, glancing over at Joe as the two of them walked hand in hand. “Why are we heading here?” Of course she recognised the area. It was near where the house she bought was, just outside of the city. Typically this place was a commuter town for the people with families who worked in the city. Juniper had been sitting in waiting for deliveries along with Lainey on some of the days. It made Roisin feel slightly guilty because a lot of the time she was busy at work, so she hasn’t really been able to see much of the house.

“Yeah, we are going somewhere special. I just figured we could stop off here for a little while.” Joe mentioned nonchalantly. Fishing the key for the house out of his pocket, he explained as he put it in the door. “Juniper said that she wanted my help moving some of the furniture, being a big tough army guy and all.”

 

“My big tough army guy.” Roisin added, grinning at him as she held onto his arm and kissed him, unintentionally stalling him from opening the door.

“Right, yeah. Your big tough army guy.” Grinning in response, kissing her in return. Staying in close proximity to her, he added. “I just figured, seeing as though it’s your place, you’d probably want at least some say in where things went, right? Feng Shui and all that crap.”

 

Giving him a look, she sighed slightly before saying. “I’m glad you want my say in it, at least.” Lowering her voice to a sultry tone, she then asked. “Maybe you and I could break in the new bed? You know, in case we get bored.”

Laughing slightly, he then commented. “It’s funny, the owner of the house I helped out with about two months ago suggested that too.” He joked, looking down at her.

“Or more like you said that to them.” She reminded him, giving him a look as he opened the door.

 

Roisin stepped inside the house first, and then hesitated. Glancing around, she saw that all the curtains were closed, and the only light was from tea lights on the floor. The tea lights were next to rose petals which were scattered heavily around the door, but seemed to disperse slightly (almost as if the person doing it realised how they were running out, as well as realising how expensive roses could be). “What’s going on? She asked, giving Joe a suspicious look. She knew she wasn’t missing any sort of important anniversary or birthday, so she was incredibly suspicious of him.

“Maybe Juniper knew we were coming here and wanted to make it nice for us.” He shrugged, playing the idiot. He knew full well what was going on, anxiously brushing his hand by his coat pocket then running that hand through his hair.

 

Following where the conspicuous trail of rose petals lead, Roisin frowned. “I thought Juniper said there were a bunch of boxed of furniture she wanted you to sort out.” Getting more and more suspicious of this whole situation, she pointed that out.

“Maybe she had Lainey sort out some of the stuff.” Shrugging in response, Joe then suggested. “Hell, maybe the trial leads to a whole stack of boxes.” Laughing, he then discretely urged her to follow them.

 

Following the suspicious path of rose petals, Roisin opened what she intended to be the master bedroom door. She stopped for a second upon seeing it, seeing it fully decorated. Taking a few steps inside, she realised that some of the things which had weirdly gone missing from her room were in here, as were some of Joe’s things. It was almost as if this bedroom in this house was theirs.

As she turned around to ask Joe what the hell was going on, she saw him down on one knee, holding a box with an engagement ring in it.

 

“Okay, so, I know you said no last time, but just hear me out, okay? Because this is really nerve wracking. I know when I did this last time, I kinda just mentioned it in passing and didn’t make that big of a deal about it, and I think that might be kinda the reason why you said no, because it didn’t really seem thought out. But this is thought out. I know we’re young still, but I’m serious about you Roisin, and serious about us. And I know this won’t ever be our place, but I wanted to kinda symbolise the kind of place we’d have together, or what I’d want us to have together. I miss you more and more every time I leave, and I’m happier and happier each time I come back to see you. Even after my time in the army is over, I know I’ll still be just as happy to see you when I come home, even if it will only be for a few hours compared to nearly a year. I guess what I’m saying is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you Roisin. Will you marry me?”

 

Wordless, Roisin just nodded in response, and got down to hug him tightly. After a few beats she managed to say. “Yes. Yes I will marry you.”

Beaming, Joe pulled away to look at her. “You will?”

“Of course I will, idiot!” Grinning, she held out her hand, which was shaking, for him.

 

Carefully, he took the ring out of the box and slid it on the fourth finger of her left hand. After a beat, he took her hand and just grinned at her. “We’re engaged.” He mumbled, as if it only just hit him.

“Yeah, we are.” Grinning too, she took a moment to admire her new ring. “We’re going to get married!” Laughing out of joy, she couldn’t stop smiling. “Is this the surprise you had planned for today?”

 

“Well, I’ve got it planned for us to go out and get lunch somewhere fancy, but we can celebrate here instead if you want?” He suggested, and began to smirk slightly. “Maybe break in the new bed?”

Instead of giving a verbal response, Roisin took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply.

 

Along with the music, the only sound was that of skates breaking apart the ice as Lainey glided along the ice. Despite having such a long break, it didn’t feel like any time at all. Sure, some of the more difficult moves were a little tougher because she wasn’t in as good shape, and she felt more tired quicker, but it was the adrenaline and love of what she did that was driving her to push through any pain she felt.

It was as if all the past anxieties she’s had about ever getting on the ice again have melted away, and it made her almost regret all the time she spent away from what she loved, but she knew that the distance was important.

 

She wasn’t especially planning what she was doing. She just moved along with the music, enjoying a feeling she has spent so long without and trying to forget. Everything else in her life always felt half hearted. At school she was never good nor bad. She got mediocre grades. Aside from Roisin, she’s never really kept around friend for too long, quickly getting bored of them, and the same in relationships, always getting bored with whoever she was with. Her tastes in food are pretty average, and most of the music she likes is popular. She felt like herself off the ice was average. Painfully boring. On the ice however, she felt like she belonged, and that she was something special, and she knew she was.

 

She knew she was good, and she’s always known that she’s been good. Lainey’s only regret is not seeing that in herself sooner, and focusing too much on the thoughts of others. The biggest part of that regret was being so focused with being better than other people that she put herself through mental and physical anguish, as well as hurting those close to her.

But she knew this was it. This could be it. Her second chance.

 

Very few people have gotten a single chance to do what she’s done, and the fact that she’s being given an opportunity to skate again is one she isn’t going to let go of very easily. She knew this was her time to recreate a name for herself, and to skate more. Maybe not for competitions, but just for her love of it. The past was in the past, and now is the time to focus on the future.

She felt small shards of ice fly up as she span, and instinctively raised her arms as soon as she was finished and the music ended. Only now did Lainey realise how out of breath she was as she realised just how heavily she was breathing. She didn’t realise how out of practice she was. Obviously she had been keeping fit, but clearly not to the same athletic standard as before.

The rink was silent, or it was before she heard the sound of slow clapping.

 

The rink was supposed to be empty. So why the hell was someone in here, watching her, and cheering for her? She didn’t want it. Whatever other people thought didn’t matter. Turning her head to see who it was, she hesitated, seeing someone she wasn’t expecting to see.

 

“Well, well, well.” Caleb started, grinning at her. “If it isn’t Miss Lainey Draven. Never thought I’d see you in skates again.”

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AN: Back when I wrote this like forty years ago, it was called something else but I’ve been getting very obsessed with Drag Race in my absence, and I saw the rose petals thing and now all I can think of is /that/ lipsync igetsoemotionalbabyeverytimeithinkofyoooouuu

ugh that lipsync ruined ruveals for the best. No other queen can remove their wigs ever, not even for Roxxxy style wig reveals. Like you knew as soon as Sasha stepped out with a wig that something was going on because her whole thing is being a bald queen because of his/her mum and ugh the reveal tag urself i’m eureka crying in the audience, like I hate eureka but that is just too relatable

anyway, there’s nothing really chapter related to say. You guys know the drill, the author note is just me blabbering on about random crap

 

Chapter 4.10 Proposals

Despite Juniper thinking she was only staying a night, she ended up staying a lot longer

To the point of moving in with Roisin and Lainey. Even though she (understandably) felt like a bit of an outsider, it was still a lot of fun living with her two sisters. The three of them were spread out throughout the main living area. Lainey and Juniper were in the living room while Roisin was in the kitchen area.

“So, your military boyfriend is coming back today, right Roisin?” Juniper asked, looking over at where Roisin was stood, indiscreetly checking the time often.

 

Nodding while grinning, Roisin explained. “Joe, yeah. He said his plane landed super early this morning and crashed at a hotel near the airport. He’s getting a cab here and should be here kinda soon.”

“He proposed to her last time he was back and she said no.” Lainey filled her in, glancing over at Roisin, knowing she didn’t like it when that was mentioned.

 

“What?!” Juniper asked loudly. “Why?!”

Glaring at Lainey, Roisin raised an eyebrow at her, while she just raised her hands in defence. “What? Sisters share stuff.” And she grinned innocently.

“Why did you say no? You seem to really love him.” Juniper frowned.

 

“Because, it just wasn’t the right time. It felt like he was proposing because he felt like he should.” Roisin explained, sighing heavily. “It didn’t feel like we were ready for it, you know? So I said no.”

Sighing dramatically, Juniper asked. “Why? I bet it was really romantic.”

“It probably was, until she said no.” Lainey pointed out, continuing to tease Roisin.

 

Pursing her lips, Roisin absently swirled her coffee as she mentioned. “Hey, you know the guy who was Lainey’s Olympic partner? The two of them had a complicated on again, off again relationship and she hasn’t seen him since the two of them came home from then.” Roisin mentioned, sipping her coffee. “I mean, I bet if she was honest with herself, and he was honest with himself, then the two of them would probably be together but they’re not.”

“What?! For real?!” Juniper asked, her attention turning to Lainey.

Lainey just looked between Juniper and then Roisin, staying silent.

 

 

“So what happened between you and him? Why haven’t you spoken to him since? His name is Caleb, right? I bet the two of you were super cute together too.” Juniper grinned.

Sighing heavily, Lainey noticed Roisin rush over to the door as soon as she heard a knocking, while she answered Juniper’s questions as briefly as she could while keeping her happy. “We met when we were both about fourteen, well I was fourteen and he was fifteen, when we both went into couples figure skating and our coach partnered us together. We worked together on all of our routines until I quit figure skating. The two of us used to have an arrangement. It’s hard to constantly be so close to each other without feeling at least something, and that’s all it really was. My dad used to hate him because… Well, you know how dads are. I lied to Nick and said Caleb was gay, that worked for… Not that long. Let’s just say it unravelled rather swiftly. But yeah, that’s it.”

 

“Hi.” Roisin grinned as she answered the door.

“Hey.” Joe grinned back, embracing her and kissing her. With that, the two of them disappeared into Roisin’s bedroom.

Lainey watched as the door closed and then sighed. “Well, they’re probably going to be in there a while. Don’t take them not noticing us to heart. They’ve not seen each other in months, after all.” Getting up, Lainey walked into the kitchen but paused seeing a note on the notepad. “Hey, you know what this is?”

“Your manager called about some TV show thing.” Juniper mentioned, looking over at her. “She said she wanted to meet you soon, and I think Roisin told her that you’d call her back. Neither of us knew what it was about, you got any ideas?”

Frowning, she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yes. I know exactly what this crap is about.” Groaning slightly, she kicked the counter out of frustration and took the note. “I guess I should probably fucking call her.”

 

“You called about that stupid ice skating TV show right? That one where washed up celebrities compete at figure skating routines?” Lainey asked as soon as her manager picked up.

“They really want you Lainey but not for that. They’re willing to offer you a lot. How about you come down to my office at eleven today? I’m meeting with them anyway about it.” Her manager told her, pretty much pressuring her into it. “After all, you’ve been off the ice for a while. Aren’t you excited to get back onto it?”

Pausing, Lainey bit her lower lip. The only person she’s ever danced on the ice with is Caleb. She’s never done any partner routines with anyone, except from him. She didn’t know why, but she kind of felt… Bad about possibly dancing with someone else. “Alright. I’ll meet you at eleven to talk with them. But, I’ve got rules.”

 

“I wouldn’t expect any less from you, Lainey. Give Roisin my best.”

“I will, don’t worry.” And with that, Lainey’s manager hung up the phone.

Folding her arms, Lainey looked out the window. The last time she was on the ice was the Olympics, and when at the top of her figure skating career, she was the worst version of herself, and the hours after that when she and Caleb talked, and she apologised for all the crap she put him through with her PED stunt. It was weird to think that was just under a year ago now, and she’s not seen Caleb, a guy she used to see everyday, for almost a year.

 

“I’ve missed you so, so much.” Roisin mumbled between kisses.

“I’ve missed you too. You have no idea.” Joe agreed, and then suggested. “Maybe we could just spend the whole day in here?” Grinning as she kissed him, he broke away for a second to look at her. “Just you and me, reconnecting.” There was dirty intentions behind the smirk he gave her.

“I like that plan. That’s a good plan.” She grinned.

 

Before the meeting even started, Lainey had a game plan. If she had to stoop to such a low level of being one of those stupid professionals who helped clueless outdated celebrities on ice, she was getting her fair share of profit. She was not going to do it for nothing.

“Look. I have a few rules if I’m going to be one of the professionals.” She started, as soon as she walked into the office. “I’m pretty sure that’s what you want, but I’m not just going to do it for essentially nothing, so here’s what I want.”

 

“We’re all ears. We’ll consider nearly everything.” The female executive smiled warmly at her. “Even though we don’t  want you as one of the professionals, we want you to do something else.”

“I want the same pay check as the highest paid celebrity on the show. That’s first. Secondly, I want my partner to be someone close in age to me. I don’t want to, and I refuse to, dance with anyone over the age of thirty, purely because figure skating is kinda intimate, and I don’t want some old guy feeling me up while I’m wearing a very little, tight dress. Some people think because they’re famous they can do whatever and that’s nasty. If I’m coming on this show, I am not being with one of the weakest people. I got silver in the fucking Olympics and- Wait, what?” She asked, only just registering what she said. Lainey had walked in with this whole monologue planned of how she had standards and how she was above some stupid Sunday night TV show, but she was caught off guard by what the female executive said.

 

The male executive smirked at her, entertained by her outburst. “I get why Sports Illustrated called you so feisty now. Fire on Ice, that’s what they used to call you, right?” Grinning, he then shook his head. “Like my partner said, we don’t want you as one of the professionals. We didn’t think it was fair for you to be one of them.”

“Oh.” Lainey mumbled, and meekly sat down in the chair, feeling embarrassed. Even though her manager was keeping a straight face, she could tell that she wanted to sigh heavily and glare at her because of her outburst.

 

“It means a lot for us to have two silver medallists come from our city,  and because the two of you live here and always have, and our show’s here, we wanted to honour how many people the two of you have inspired to start figure skating. We want you and your partner to do a routine for us to open the show and to close it.” The female executive explained, smiling as she did so.

“My partner?” Lainey asked, despite not needing an answer. She knew they meant Caleb, and she honestly didn’t know how to feel about the thought of seeing him again. Anxious, definitely. But she couldn’t tell if it was an excited anxious or a scared anxious.

 

“Well, the two of you are a duo, right?” The male executive asked, sliding forward a contract. “He’s already agreed to do it. We asked him first, figuring that he’d be easier to convince, and give you more incentive.” Grinning, he uncapped a pen and slid it along with the paper. “Well, what do you say?”

Lainey stared at what felt like forever at the contract. The thought of going back to Caleb and figure skating made her feel beyond excited. The mere thought made her heart flutter with anticipation, but she hesitated. Did she really want to go through it all again? The fear of not being good enough to the point of almost destroying everything important to her? But then again, this was only some stupid TV show gig, not proper skating. But did she really want to see Caleb again? They’ve not spoken in so long, could she really bring herself to see him again?

“This is something me and my client will and should discuss in further detail, without any extra added pressure.” Lainey’s manager stated, probably only a few seconds after the male executive handed over the contract. “The two of us will talk about it, in private, and then get back to you.”

 

“Hey, so you must be Juniper, right?” Joe asked Juniper as she came into the living room. He and Roisin had left her room a while ago. “I’m Joe, Roisin’s boyfriend. It’s good to finally meet you.” He grinned at her, waiting for her to come into the living room. “You were kinda a surprise to them, huh?”

“It’s good to meet you too.” Smiling in response, Juniper looked Joe up and down, surveying him for a moment. She had to admit, her sister had good taste in guys. “And yeah, I was a pretty big surprise.” Laughing slightly, she brushed her hair behind her ear.

 

“Aww, this is cute. My boyfriend and new sister getting along.” Roisin grinned, happy that the two of them were making friends. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go shower. I just wanted to make sure the two of you could make friends.” Before she left, she whispered something to Joe that only he could hear before leaving the room.

Juniper could tell by the way that Joe was smirking that whatever Roisin just whispered was dirty. But that didn’t matter right now! “So, what’s this about the proposal?” She whispered, feeling somewhat cautious about asking. Part of her figured she was asking more than welcomed, but she wanted to know!

 

Sighing heavily, Joe asked. “Roisin told you, huh?”

“No, Lainey did.” Juniper corrected, and then asked. “So, what happened? How did it happen?”

“It wasn’t all that great. I just said that we should get married before I left, and she said she didn’t think she was ready for it. That’s all there is to it.” He shrugged, playing it off as nothing.

“Why don’t you try again?” Juniper asked, beaming. “I could help you!” The idea of helping Roisin’s boyfriend propose to her made her feel elated. “I could give you ideas! We could have code names for each other or something, I can be Falcon and you-”

 

“That’s great and all but-” Joe started, cutting her off. “I’ve honestly already got something planned.”

Gasping loudly, and then regretting it, Juniper asked. “What?” This felt so exciting, it was taking all her willpower to not bounce excitedly between her feet.

“Nothing too big. Just something simple.” Smiling, he then asked. “You’re gonna keep this  a secret, right?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Juniper asked. “Keep what a secret?” Even though it upset her slightly to not be involved in how her sister’s boyfriend was going to propose, Juniper was elated all the same.

______________________________

AN: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Wow!

So, what have I been doing? Exams, school, trying to keep my mental health somewhat stable and somewhat failing yada yada let’s not get into it

I’m going to try and be more active with my legacy, or at least like, not be as inactive, or like inactive but scheduled, does that make sense? Like do more consistent posting despite time gaps and all that jazz