Sunshine Blogger Award

Do I really need to post an inspirational picture? Ah, I’m gonna post one of a cat instead, or a meme.


It’s a cat meme. You’re welcome.


So, I thought I had been nominated for this before, and I checked and there wasn’t a post, but it turns out I have been nominated and I’m just a dick.

Sorry xD

Uhh, so I’ve been nominated by Becky, Owly, Annie and this douchebag (just kidding Carys I love you even if you don’t love me ;-;)

Jeez, first of all thank you so much ❤ but idk who I’m going to nominate now xD all y’all gon’ get nominated again 😛


Okay so I have to post rules now, right? Right, let’s copy and paste them from someone

1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.
2. Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 11 bloggers and add their links.
4. Notify the bloggers you included.
5. Keep the rules in your post.


So, let’s get this shebang started

Carys the SNP lover’s questions:

1.What or who inspired you to start writing SimLit?

Uhhhhh… I don’t know really? I can tell you what inspired my tumblr stuff but the Matthews? Mate it was like 3 years ago I can’t remember

2. What’s your favourite animal?

Cats ^-^

3. Do you have a favourite trope in writing?

I like the happy ending cliche, I dunno, I just like how everything ends nicely, y’know?

4. Do you have a least favourite trope/cliche in writing?

Right, I hate that one where you know the girl ends up in an awkward situation like going to a club or a party with a guy she hates but also loves and she has to get pretty and wear some skanky but also pretty dress and oh she’s so awkward and hates makeup but oh she looks so pretty with it on and her hair’s curled and even though she looks like a tart the guy is blown away and blech. (let’s ignore the fact that I did this cliche)

5. Do you write other stories outside of sims?

Not really tbh. I want to but I just don’t have the time.

6. Do you play any other computer/console games?

Danganronpa (obviously. I’m currently waiting for more to be released onto Steam) and I went through a Stardew Valley phase and I’ve completed Alice: Madness Returns, but that’s about it.

7. How long have you been writing using the sims games?

3 years this past December

8. Do you have a favourite story line in the legacy/story you’re working on?

Uhhhhh, don’t make me choose >.< I guess if I had to narrow it down, last generation I liked the whole Alyssa cheating for the second time scenario, and this generation (this is going to make me sound sick and twisted) but I liked Juniper’s relationship with Sam and writing that, and the repercussions of it.I dunno, they were just dramatic to write and I guess with the latter, I liked seeing Juniper turn from this weak little housewife to this badass single mom doing everything on her own and body checking and sassing most people in her way.

9.Do you listen to music while you write?

Yeah because I have a very low attention span

10.What book has most impacted you in the last couple of years, and why?

Sadly, I’ve not read any really impacting books lately, but I did read Lungs by Duncan McMillan as part of my theatre studies coursework (but then I didn’t get to do that one >.<) which I really liked. It definitely made me think a lot more about things to do with the environment.

11.Do you have any writing rituals?

Uh, yeah. First I pray to the almighty God of the underworld before I sacrifice 20 virgins to him and he gives me the power to write mediocrely  (no I don’t)


Annie’s Questions!:

1. If you could travel anywhere in the world right this instant, where would that be?

New York or London, lets go shopping

2. Has anything awesome or potentially life-changing ever happened to you because you started playing The Sims? Maybe you met a great friend or you found out about something cool while checking out Sims stuff on the internet?

I’ve met a lot of nice people and have discovered cool games and also met a Scottish SNP fuckboy (I couldn’t swear on her blog because idk if she likes swears on her blog but my blog my rules). That and I think the most awesome thing is that I can express myself and write and do that openly, that’s awesome enough as it is ^-^

3. Name one thing that is on your computer desk right now that should not be there.

Uhh, I don’t have one so I guess it’s existence shouldn’t be there right now

4. Mountains, sea or city?


5. If you could have any career from The Sims 3 in real life, which one would you choose?

I like the idea of the scientist career and how you can just go into the building and be like “let me be a scientist!” and that’s an okay thing to do. I think I want the general concept of how careers work rather than any specific career. Just walk in and be like “can I be this please lol hire me”

6. What is your biggest reason for sticking to TS3 instead of moving on to TS4? Toddlers, open neighborhoods, aesthetics or something completely different?

First it was toddlers and now they’ve added toddlers, and I think that was my most reason, but now it’s more because the novelty has worn off and I think doing something on TS4 would distract me from this and yeah

7. Is there any particular skill you are trying to learn at the moment? If not, what is something you’d love to be able to do?

I’d love to be able to dance or figure skate alas I am not graceful enough. Also drawing, question 9 reminded me of that.
8. Coffee, tea, or cocoa?

Coffee. I like mocha’s specifically. I hate tea because it’s just weird icky water, and hot chocolate’s nice but I like it made with milk and that’s bad for skin so… Yeah. Whittard’s white hot chocolate though ugh omg ❤ – ❤
9. Do you have a favourite (visual) artist?

I don’t really tbh, mostly because I’ve not properly looked into it. I used to go on Deviantart a lot but then I just get jealous because I want to be good at drawing but I’m not
10. If you could pick any time period to live in, which one would it be?

I’d say the 1950’s/60’s purely just for the clothing. I want that to come back in style: floaty skirts and blouses and petticoats ❤ so pretty

11. Which other games do you play besides The Sims? Or, lacking that, what do you like to do in your spare time besides playing TS?

Youtube videos are a plus, and also makeup. I’m a massive makeup hoarder. I’ve got probably 40+ lipsticks alone. I have a thing with lipsticks, okay? Don’t judge me please.

Owly’s Questions!

1. If you were a sim, what would your five traits be?

Cat person, socially awkward, rebellious, loner and snob
2. What book has had the biggest impact on you, and why?

I don’t know ;-; I still don’t know ;-; I’m gonna say Lungs because it’s the only one I can properly remember.
3. What keeps you up at night?

Ahaha, a lot of things.
4. If you’re not a tattoo person, what is the one thing that you would possibly get tattooed on your body (if you were forced to)? If you do like/have tattoos, what is the one style of tattoo you hate the most?

I really want a dream catcher on the back of my right shoulder blade with feathers floating down across my back and forming a cluster on my left hip.

5. What’s your favorite marine animal?

Okay, so I’ve just discovered that Vaquitas are a thing and there are only 30 of them left! 30! Guys we need to save them! They’re so cute and we can’t let another animal go extinct.
6. What tv series or movie could you watch over and over again?

I think probably Grease or Hairspray. I know basically all the words to all of the songs from both and I love it.
7. You’re in charge of coming up with an obscure animal mascot for a sports team. What is it?

Uhhhhhh……… CATS?! I don’t know don’t give me so much responsibility ;-;
8. What’s your favorite joke?

Uh, I don’t know, I think my life is a pretty good joke.
9. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

I like it when it’s hot but breezy. I also like the rain but only when I’m not in it lol
10. In a cage fight match to the death, who would win: Fred Flintstone or George Jetson?

*shrugs* I dunno. Only one way to find out.

11. What’s one “rule” (not a grammar or style rule) that you follow while writing?

Well, like in showbiz, always leave them wanting more. I guess that’s why I love using cliffhangers the way I do.

Becky’s Questions!:

1. What is your favorite bird, if you can only choose from birds you have seen near your place of residence?

Pidgeons. I’m weirdly affected by them in a good way. I think they’re kinda cute even if my friend calls them “flying rats”
2. Three of the worst movies ever. Movies you actually watched, all the way through. Poor you.

Bridesmaids. That movie was shit and it relied too heavily on slapstick humour. Meet The Fockers as well, I just don’t like silly humour, I like witty humour not “hahaha they said poop and he’s drunk and was embarrassing hahaha” humour.
3. How about some movies that were so bad, you couldn’t finish watching them?

Twilight, duh. There was also Sweet Charity, which is a shame because I think I would have loved it but it just took too long to get running, you know? Like those movies where it takes ages to get started and you get bored.
4. You’re writing a buddy cop movie. What do you name your two main protagonists?

Elle Penbrooke and Malachi Reed? Idk I just came up with random names there

5. Did you see a cartoon as a child that scarred you because it broke the animation age ghetto? If so, what was it?

Yes. Watership Down. I still haven’t watched it since I was like about 7 (I had just gotten my own rabbits too and it terrified me)
6. What are your three most favorite starship designs?

*frets* this is the point where they realise I’m just smart and aren’t a real nerd. Uh… I liked this one (Carys and Owly don’t watch the video, it’s from DR and is kinda spoilery)
7. Psychic twins. Dead horse trope, or you just can’t get enough of how cute it is?

Uhhh, cute? *smiles nervously*
8. Five computer games you thought were fun, aside from Sims?

Stardew Valley
Alice Madness Returns
Danganronpa 2 (I’m running out of games don’t judge)
Goat Simulator?
9. Are you in love with any Non-PC games? Regardless of replay value, let’s hear some of your favorites!

I loved Harvest Moon when I was younger, I absolutely adored it. It’s kind of endless (although there is an end point of finding all the spirits/making a lot of money/getting married and having a kid)
10. Daffy Duck, or Donald Duck? Why?

Donald because I was raised on Disney
11. That one glitch you had in Sims 3 that you love telling people about. What happened?

I think the glitch where a fire almost burned down the Matthews’ old house was pretty entertaining.


I don’t think really know who to nominate, mostly because so many people have already been nominated. If you read this, or if you read my legacy or my tumblr (or both!) then you’re nominated because you’re awesome for supporting me, and if you can put through reading my stuff then you deserve an award. So, here’s my questions for anyone and everyone reading this:


1.) Last video game you played (besides sims) is now your life. How fucked up are you?

2.) How old are you? I’m just being nosy rn

3.) Is there a TV show you love but you know it’s trash but love it because it’s trash? I have one, don’t worry.

4.) You’re driving along a road, and notice a car in flames with two people inside. You’re shocked by the scene, and realise that you have enough time to save one of the people in there. To your horror, one of the people is your dad and the other is a cancer specialist on the verge of a breakthrough (no one knows what, only they know). Who do you save?

5.) Dog person or cat person?

6.) Who’s your favourite character you created?

7.) Who’s your favourite character that you didn’t create?

8.) Would you rather never have chocolate again or never be kissed again?

9.) Idk what’s your favourite colour?

10.) If you had the chance to go back and change one event, but it could drastically alter your life (better or for worse) would you do it?

11.) 1000 degree hot knife videos; what’s your opinion on them?



Chapter 3.39 I Just Want to Make You Happy

There was the muffled sound of June’s phone vibrating against the sofa.


Giving the phone a weird look, Nick wondered who it was texting June. Usually, the only people who texted her were himself (if he was late coming back from work), or one of her classmates asking her if there were any assignments due. He could rule out a classmate because it was eight in the morning on a Saturday, and most of her classmates were likely still in bed being as though they were teenagers. So, that only left himself, and he was pretty sure he didn’t accidentally butt text her.

Picking up her phone, he could only see the contact name and the words ‘text message’ below it. The text was from someone called Daniel, and Nick could only wonder who that was. He could vaguely remember her mentioning something about a term long teacher called Daniel, but surely it wasn’t her teacher texting her, was it? It may have been a while ago, but back when he had teachers, none of them had his number, or at least not for school purposes.. Glancing down the corridor, he smirked to himself as he figured out a way to find out who Daniel was.


“Hey June, who’s Daniel?” Starting with that, he held her phone in the hand further away from her. “I wouldn’t usually ask, but he’s been sending a few pictures and I wanna know what they are.”

“What are you doing with my phone? And he’s no one.” Voice filled with hostility, Juniper approached him and held out her hand expectantly. “Give me back my phone.”

“Nah, I’m curio- Oh.” Nick pretended to unlock the phone and look at the pretend picture message before looking at Jennifer with a shocked expression. “Oh wow, someone’s confident. I can see why you like him, pretty big. Not the biggest though.” He gave her a smirk at that statement.


“Give me my phone!” Juniper scrambled to get her phone back, unintentionally clambering on top of him in her feat to get it back from him. Despite the fact she hadn’t seen whatever pictures based on the angle Nick was holding the phone at, she had a pretty good idea of the kind of pictures they were. “And don’t look at them! That’s none of your business!”

“Black and white pictures, how artsy. Didn’t know you were into that Junie.” Smirking at her, he kept the phone away from her, wanting her to suffer a little bit longer for not telling him about her boyfriend. Not that he was especially bothered about her dating, he just liked being in the know though.”If he needs any pointers on better shots, I could put my uni degree to a little more use. Tell him that angling from above, like lighting from above, makes things seem thinner, not quite the effect wanted here.” Finally, he gave her phone back to her.


Snatching her phone back, Juniper glared at him. On her phone however, it was still locked and as she entered her password, it was a text from him saying “Okay, are we still on for today?”. He was bluffing the whole time.

Smirking triumphantly, Nick knew that she fell for it. “So, who’s Daniel?”

“You’re such an ass.”


“I already know that, I asked who Daniel was.” Still basking in the glory of his small victory, Nick was grinning at her. “Is he your boyfriend?” Nudging her with his foot he continued to tease her about it. “Does little Junie have a boyfriend?”

“Quit it.” She glared at him, not liking the way he was teasing her. “And for your information, yes I do. We’ve been dating for a few months now.” Answering shortly as she responded to the text, she didn’t really want to tell Nick anything. It felt like she was with one of her older brothers with the amount he was making fun of her for this.


“Where did you meet him then? Would I approve of him?” Grinning, he asked these questions. It was fun to be nosy.

“It doesn’t matter to both of them.” Answering very ‘matter of fact’-ly, she gave him a look as she put her phone back into her pocket.

“He’s the same Daniel as the one who used to teach you, isn’t he?” Nick asked, already knowing the answer to the question. “The one who owns a crap load of buildings in town and who could fill a pool with money?”


Staying quiet for a while, Juniper responded quietly and nonchalantly with “Maybe” as she refused to elaborate further. “And no one owns that much money, not in cash anyway

Smirking, he started to tease her about it again. “Well, look who’s got themselves a sugar daddy.”

“He’s not a sugar daddy. It’s not like that.” Juniper quickly excused, glaring at him. Daniel wasn’t her sugar daddy, it wasn’t weird like that.

“Oh, of course not. He’s just exceedingly wealthy and happens to be old enough to be your dad, totally not a sugar daddy, what was I thinking?” Sarcastically, he made his point to her.


“He’s not a sugar daddy. How is he one? Yeah, he’s older and rich, but that doesn’t mean that he’s a sugar daddy. And the age thing isn’t an issue because most of the people I’m friend with are older than I am because I don’t have anything in common with people my age. Besides, aren’t you technically old enough to be my dad too?” Juniper pointed out, making the statement before she did the maths. In all honesty, she couldn’t exactly remember the age difference between herself and Nick.

Giving her a puzzled look, he pointed out. “I’m nine years older than you June.”

Staying quiet, she then grumbled “don’t judge people, Nick. It’s not very nice” before cracking a small smile, and making an excuse. “Maths was never my strong point, okay? Don’t expect me to be great at on the spot subtracting.”


“Hey, I’m happy for you, getting an older, rich guy. I think you should tell him that you’ve developed a passion for photography, and tell him that you need to have a top of the range DSLR camera, and then give it to me.” He suggested, keeping a straight face as he did so. “Mine favourite one is acting up a bit but they’re crazy expensive to get a new one.”

“You’ll just have to get a sugar daddy for yourself.” Giving him a sad smile, Juniper shrugged slightly. “Or make do with the camera being all crappy.”


Giving her a disapproving look to show that wasn’t the answer he wanted, Nick grumbled something which was inaudible.

“Anyway,” Juniper started, changing the subject “I’m out for the day so you’re in charge of the girls until I get back.”

“Wow, thank you for leaving me in charge of two kids, one of which is my own.” He pointed out, giving her a look. She could be like that sometimes, a little too overbearing.

“Enough of the attitude please.” Scolding him lightly, she then walked away as there was a knock on the door.


Grinning, Juniper answered the door and greeted Daniel.”Hey, I thought I was meeting you downstairs?” She asked, wondering why he was up here.

“We were meeting there, but you were running a bit late. I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten or anything.” He excused, smiling at her as he did so. Looking past her as he heard footsteps, he gave a chin jut of acknowledgement.”Hey.”


“‘Sup.” Nick copied the action with slightly narrowed eyes. Something he noticed about Daniel was that he was a lot like Juniper’s first husband. Blonde, rich and in a position of power. Was that her type? Funny how her type seemed to consist of three things he wasn’t. Hm. “So, you’re Daniel, huh?”

Nodding, Daniel then assumed. “And you’re Nick?” Asking rhetorically, he already knew the answer.

“Yep.” Answering simply, the two men looked each other up and down as if they were scoping out the other.

“Well, this has been nice.” Juniper interrupted the stand off before either of them felt the need to primitively mark their territory. Turning her attention to Daniel, she then smiled. “I’ll be less than five minutes, would you mind waiting outside?” She asked sweetly, and kissed him on the cheek as the door closed.


Turning her attention to Nick, she demanded angrily (but in a whisper). “What the hell was that?”

“What was what?” Nick asked innocently, tilting his head slightly.

“I’m talking about that whole dominance thing that was just going on.” Sighing heavily, she then grumbled. “You were basically ten seconds away from manspreading and peeing everywhere to mark your dominance.”


“I don’t like him Jen. I don’t trust him.” Using her fake name, he was well aware that Daniel could be eavesdropping, accidentally or intentionally.  Despite only having seen him for a maximum of a minute, Nick made his impressions clear. Unsure of whether to say the next bit, he made up his mind to tell her, for her sake. “He seems a lot like your first husband, and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“He is nothing like him.” With a bit of bark in her voice, Juniper glared at him. “They’re nothing alike, where’d you even get that impression?”


“They’re both blonde, rich, in a high place of power and both seem like arseholes.” Raising an eyebrow, he then asked. “Am I wrong?”

“He’s not an arsehole and neither was-” lowering her voice slightly for the one word, Juniper was cautious in case Daniel could hear them “Sam. So shut up. I’m a big girl, I know what I’m doing.” And with that, she left the flat. How dare he even suggest that! Daniel and Sam were nothing alike! Nothing! Chalk and cheese, couldn’t be more different!


Not that she paid attention to what Nick said or anything, but there were quite a few similarities between Sam and Daniel. Rich, blonde, in a position of power. It seemed almost like it was a habit now for her to go for those type of guys. Hopefully, it wasn’t a vice.

“Is everything okay?” Noticing that she’s been rather quiet, Daniel asked rather cautiously. “You know you can tell me if something’s on your mind.”

Shaking her head slightly, Juniper then smiled. “I’m fine, just thinking about aimless things. I guess I’m just a bit tired today as well.” Laughing lightly, she decided against telling him that she was now realising that he was rather similar to he first husband, only quite a bit older. It wasn’t like it was a lie though, she’s been feeling so tired and just generally worn out over the past few days (that and her boobs really hurt too, but that was kinda irrelevant right now).


“You know, it’s a shame you’re not coming with me on Sunday. I know I’d be in business meetings for most of the time, but it’d still be a nice two weeks, just you and me. I’m going to be lonely all on my own y’know.” He mentioned, frowning slightly as he did so. It wasn’t like she wasn’t tempted, she was. Laying on the beach with pretty, scantily clad cabana boys tending to her every need. Drinks for Miss Jennifer, fans for Miss Jennifer, no pants for Miss Jennifer (what? She was in a relationship, didn’t mean she couldn’t still be appreciative of pretty cabana boy anatomy)… But she couldn’t. She had Roisin to think about, and she’d rather sacrifice pretty, naked cabana boys in the sunshine than let someone else look after her daughter.

“You know I can’t.” She frowned in return, feeling slightly bad. But Roisin was priority, no ifs and no buts (and sadly, no pretty cabana boy bums).


“You could just ask someone to look after Roisin.” He pointed out, and then added. “I just want to make you happy-“

She was about to retaliate, but that last sentence…

It got to her.


Sam used to say things like that, always turning things to seem beneficial for her. “I just want to make you happy Juniper.” In that moment, it felt as if the last three years never happened. As if their relationship hadn’t ended, and she hadn’t moved to Bridgeport, and she hadn’t accidentally killed him. Even though it was Daniel talking and Sam wasn’t alive anymore, all she could see and hear was Sam. In that moment, she felt like her nineteen year old self, the one who gave up everything for him.


Daniel gave Juniper a confused look. Since he suggested leaving Roisin with someone, Juniper had this weird expression on her face and had gotten paler. Was she sick? “You sure you’re alright?”

“I… I uhm…” Juniper trailed off, not knowing what to say. History was repeating itself in the worst way possible: she was repeating the same mistakes she made about five years ago. Marrying on impulse, not listening to advice, missing opportunities. The possibility of being a desolate housewife using makeup as a disguise for the hurt and suffering. Laughing it off, nervously, she excused. “Yeah, I’m fine. Fine. I-I think I might need to go back though, I think I left my um…” She tried to think of an excuse, with lame results. “Roisin, on, I’ve gotta, bye. I uhm, yeah, bye.” It was a good thing there were so many taxis in the city, she managed to get the next one that was passing them by.


 On the way back home, she had some time to think. Think about why she left Daniel so abruptly on the street. It made her feel unbelievably guilty. After having a while to think about it, she realised that history may not necessarily be repeating itself.

She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but part of her knew that her relationship with Daniel be as bad as her marriage. It wasn’t like it could get worse, but in that moment, despite all which had happened, she felt oddly optimistic.


AN: Wow, Juniper’s finally noticed that Daniel’s (forgot his name then lol) a bit like Sam. 10/10 observation skills.

I was gonna have a nasty vision in here too, but then I thought about how June’d react, and I feel like she wouldn’t have reacted the same way, or the vision might have tipped it over the edge or something, so I changed it!

So, in case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been pretty busy with school and killing teenagers on tumblr so uh, yeah, fun stuff.

Also can we have a moment to celebrate Yuri on Ice and love how gay it is? IT’S SO GAY AND I LOVE IT AHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 3.38 Interlude: Christmas Special

“What do we think, trusty assistant? More sprinkles?”


“More sprinkles.” Roisin decided, adding more sprinkles to the cookies she and her mommy had made today, making a mess as she did so. Her version of adding sprinkles was getting a handful, closing her eyes and dropping them in the direction of the cookies. She couldn’t really remember Christmas being a thing, but now it is and she’s excited! She could remember a bit about someone giving her presents for being good, and that’s why Roisin always behaved herself. She wanted all the presents! All of them!

Grinning, Juniper marvelled at the cookies she had made, with Roisin’s help of course. It was weird that this was technically the first Christmas she and Roisin would spend with Nick and Lainey. The first Christmas, Juniper and Nick didn’t know each other well enough, the second one he was with Elle and they were currently on the third year knowing each other, and yet, their first Christmas together, and their first holiday as an actual couple.


However, he didn’t really seem to be in too much of the Christmas spirit. She didn’t understand why however. What wasn’t there to love about Christmas? Almost as if on queue, she saw him leave the office, Lainey following him. She was often content with watching him whenever he had editing to do.

“I was wondering what you two were doing.” He had heard Roisin yell something about sprinkles and got curious

Lainey looked at the cookies and then to her mommy. “Can I have one?”


“‘fraid not, Lainey. We’ve got to save these ones for tonight. We can make some more though it you want any.” Juniper offered.

“Why?” Lainey asked, pulling a face. Why did they have to save them for later? That’s not fair.

“For Father Christmas.” Juniper bent down to her height, smiling. “We’ve got to leave him something just in case he gets tired or hungry when delivering presents.”


Tilting her head, Lainey asked. “Who?” Who was he? Why did he get her cookies and she didn’t? That’s not fair.

Interrupting by laughing, Nick explained. “No one Lain, Mommy’s just being silly. There’s going to be presents under the tree from us tomorrow, some from Auntie Katie and the ones your Auntie Belle sent to you. That’s all. We’ll probably have the cookies later.” Nick gave Juniper a look, and she gave him one in return as she stood. There was an awkward silence as he waited for her to agree, and she waited for him to mention Father Christmas.

“How about you and Roisin talk about what toys you think you’ve got in your room while me and Daddy talk.” Juniper suggested, breaking the rather awkward silence. Roisin and Lainey were oblivious to it though as they rushed off to open their presents.


“Okay,  what was up with that?” Juniper asked as soon as the girls were out of earshot. She wasn’t exactly happy that they were opening presents now, it felt like cheating, but that was beside the point.

“What was up with what? Not wanting to lie to my daughter?” Nick asked innocently, giving her a look in return.

“It’s Father Christmas, it’s hardly like we’re neglecting to tell her she’s adopted or something. All kids know about him, it makes Christmas more magical.” Juniper reasoned, raising an eyebrow at him. Yeah, it was technically a lie, but it was one all kids believed.


“More magical until they realise that it isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be.” Raising an eyebrow in return, he then shook his head. “Whatever. I’m not changing my mind, I don’t want her knowing about some magic fat guy that gives kids presents.” Making that clear, he then sighed. “I’ve got work to do, I’ll be in the office for most of the afternoon.” Mumbling this, he went into what used to be his bedroom to work.

“Okay.” Juniper mumbled in return, after he had left. The thing was that she didn’t understand why he was this way about the winter holidays. He’s been rotten about it since the middle of November when a few places started to get in the Christmas mood.


It wouldn’t bother her as much if she knew why he got that way over it, but she didn’t. Was he the same way when he spent the holidays with Elle, or was it just with her? Was that something to do with it? It made her upset because this was their first big holiday together, as more than friends, and it feels like she’s the only one putting in any effort.

Was it because of her?

No. That was stupid.

But still, it hurt to think that he was possibly doing this as an act of sabotage or something.


“What’s a Father Christmas?” Lainey asked Roisin. Even though Roisin was so much younger than she was, and wasn’t even at school yet, she supposed that she might know some things about Christmas.

“Presents!” Roisin exclaimed, grinning as she did so. “He gives presents to good girls and boys.”

“Oh.” Lainey mumbled, frowning slightly. Would he not give her presents because she didn’t know who he was? “Stranger.”


Shaking her head vigorously, Roisin denied the fact that Father Christmas was a stranger. Sure, she hadn’t met him but only mommies and daddies got to meet him. “Nuh uh. Mommy knows him. She tells him what we want.”

“How does it get here?” Lainey asked, ever more intrigued. She cant remember their mommy going off to meet him. Why weren’t she and Roisin invited in that case? And their Daddy said that they weren’t getting presents from him. Did Mommy and Father Christmas have a fallout?

Roisin shrugged. “Dunno.” And she didn’t. Her knowledge on Father Christmas was shaky. She only knew that Mommy makes most of it happen. Her mommy’s cool like that.


“How does Mommy know him?” Lainey then followed up, tilting her head. Were they friends? Best friends? Sarah was Mommy’s best friend. Was Sarah Father Christmas? This was too confusing for Lainey to handle.

“Dunno.” Roisin shrugged again, not being all too much help. “Dunno what shop he goes to either.”

“Maybe the big one Daddy takes us to?” Lainey suggested. That toy shop was the best place ever. She wanted to live there and work there and own there when she was older.

Gasping, Roisin nodded enthusiastically. “Gotta be it!”


Juniper was a bit ashamed to say that it was after dinner when she had worked out what exactly it was that Nick hated about the holidays. She could recall him telling her a few weeks after they had first met, which was near the holidays too, and he was just as grumpy about it then.

After finding out what it was, it made sense that he was acting this way. She hadn’t spoken to him since earlier in the afternoon. She met him out on the balcony, which is where he went after finishing what he was working on. “I know you said you weren’t hungry, but there’s some food on the side if you want it later.” She offered.


“Thanks.” He answered shortly as he was sat down at the table outside, absently fiddling with the pack of cigarettes on the table. “You mind if I take one?”

Nodding, she then asked. “Thought you said you didn’t do it?” She didn’t used to either, but since the incident, she found that it helps slightly, as if it seemed to magically take away the stress from what had happened.

“Not usually, but around this time I do. I’m alright with it though, I don’t really get the addiction to them.” He spoke while managing to hold one in his mouth as he looked for a lighter.


Handing him hers, she sat down opposite, taking one for herself and lighting it. “You should be happier about this holiday, after all, it’s Saint Nick, right?” Grinning lightly, she noticed as he rolled his eyes at her. “Same name as you.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” He grumbled,  lacking enthusiasm.

“It’s ho, ho, ho, but you’re new at this so…” Juniper shrugged slightly, taking a long drag from her cigarette. “Remember when we first met, and it was near the holidays, and you told me then that you didn’t celebrate Christmas?” Asking out of curiosity, she looked over at him.


“So, what are you doing for the holidays?” She could remember it was the first one she had spent since Sam’s death, so it was her first Christmas where it was just her and Roisin. A large part of her then wanted to see if he was spending it with anyone, mostly because she didn’t want to be alone. The only issue was that they weren’t exactly close enough for that.

“I think just going over to my sister’s place. We’re not that much fun, we don’t really celebrate it anymore.”

“What about your parents?” She could recall asking, innocently, not knowing how he would answer next.

“Dead. My dad died around this time quite a few years ago, and my mom died about six months after.”


“Yeah, I made you feel awkward as hell.” Smirking slightly, he could remember that. “What about it?” Part of him was preoccupied, trying to blow rings in the smoke. He managed to do a few successfully.

“Well, it helped me worked out why you hate the holidays: it reminds you of when your dad died.” She spoke rather cautiously, not wanting to upset him.

Stubbing out his cigarette, Nick stayed quiet for a while before sighing and answering with. “Yeah.”


“You want to talk about it or…?” Stubbing out hers also, she looked at him as she asked this.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Looking away, he spoke quietly. “Talking about it won’t exactly make me love Christmas again.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for over three years now. Can I at least know what exactly happened?” Juniper asked, tilting her head slightly. “I mean, it’s obviously effected you by making you hate Christmas to the point where you don’t even want the girls to know who Father Christmas is.”


“There’s not a whole lot to say about it June. It was Christmas Eve, about this time of day. I was twenty five? I think? Yeah, twenty five. Me and Elle were at my parents house because we were spending Christmas with her family. Christmas was always a huge thing at home. I remember finding it lame when I was a teenager, because it was kinda lame. A lot of people were scared of my parents because of the kind of people they seemed to be, but I swear, if they saw my mom singing along to basically every Christmas song known to man or my dad in his Christmas jumper, well, I doubt they’d find our family as intimidating.” Smirking as he said this, it was one of those things he knew he’d always remember.


“They always used to kinda hate Elle’s family because they were basically the opposite, the kind that would order Chinese food instead of cooking something. It was the usual, same old Christmas. Me, Elle, Katie and her family at my parents house. They’d always bug me and Elle about grandkids and my mom would always ask Elle if she was sure when she asked for wine or whatever boozy drink we were having. My mom, Elle and Katie were in the dining room, and it was just me, my dad and I think my nephew was in the living room with us? I can’t remember. He kept flitting between spending time with my mom and sister in the kitchen, and me and dad in the living room. My dad was doing the usual asking about grandkids and trying to pass off that it was mom who was telling him to ask and not pressure but ‘plant the seed’ as she used to say. He was on about that, talking about how having me and Katie was the best thing he’s done.”


“He went kinda quiet after that, and I thought he was just thinking or something. But when I looked over, he was holding his chest, kind of like gripping at it, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain. I panicked and went over to him, calling in my mom, Katie and Elle because I didn’t know what to do. My dad fell forwards and my mom was crying and Katie was panicking. Elle was the only one who had her head screwed on straight and called an ambulance. They tried to restart his heart, doing the weird thing with the defibrillator but it didn’t work. My dad died of a heart attack on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, I didn’t really feel like celebrating the next day. I guess that’s why I hate it, because no matter what, it’ll always be a reminder that my dad died, and it’ll always be the anniversary of his death.”


Juniper stayed quiet for quite a while before she finally spoke. “Even though that happened though, you still remember the good things.” She pointed out softly, giving him a small smile. Even though something bad happened, something awful, it didn’t mean that it had to ruin Christmas.

Looking at her for a long time, it was clear that he was trying to think of a rebuttal, but he agreed. “Yeah, I do.”

“And surely, you’d want Roisin and Lainey to have the same good memories about Christmas.” She concluded, watching him as she did so. She wasn’t so sure how he’d react, especially after she added. “And, even though I never got to meet him, I know your dad wouldn’t want to see you being this way at Christmas.”


Sighing heavily, Nick grumbled. “You know, I hate it when you’re right.”

Smiling in return, Juniper then suggested. “How about we tell two special girls who Father Christmas actually is, or is that still a terrible lie which they should never know about.”

Giving a slight smile in return, he raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. “I suppose we could tell them worse lies than that.”


The two of them went back inside, took off their coats and made sure the balcony door was securely closed. Roisin and Lainey were sat in the living room, watching the movie about the two sisters and one’s an ice queen and the other’s not an ice queen but she is a princess(neither of them really paid attention to the movie whenever it was on, based on the fact they had both seen it too many times to count, but it did amuse her when he would absently sing the songs from it, without even realising what he was singing).

“I’ll help you out if you need it, I know that memory can get worse with old age.” Juniper teased him, grinning as she did so.

“Please, I knew the guy. I went to school with him.” He had found that if he joined in agreeing that he was old, it made her shut up about it.

“It’s not fun when you join in.”


Sitting down in between the two,  Nick asked. “Can I join in?”

Lainey grinned at him, and cuddled up to him as he sat down next to Roisin and herself. “Yeah!”

“How does Mommy know Christmas?” Roisin asked, and Nick assumed she meant Father Christmas.


“Well, it’s a bit of a long story…” Nick started, and looked as Juniper sat down with them as he began to tell Roisin and Lainey all about Father Christmas, and how he can deliver presents to good boys and girls all around the world, and how all his elves help him make the presents, and the reindeer that drive the sleigh, including a bit about Rudolph and why Rudolph’s so special. The two girls were hanging on his every word, amazed by the story and how presents can be delivered everywhere in just one night.


After telling them about Father Christmas, both Roisin and Lainey were determined to stay up all night and meet him. However, they didn’t even make it to the end of the movie before falling asleep curled up to their parents.

“Should we turn off the TV and put them in bed?” Juniper whispered, trying not to move as it could wake Roisin who was cuddled up to her.

“Shh, I wanna see how it ends.” Nick shushed her, giving her a look.


“We’ve seen it so much that the DVD jumps, you know how it ends. Elsa unfreezes Ana and saves the town.” She gave him the same look in return.

“Jeez, spoilers much?” Trying not to laugh, he grinned at her. Staying quiet for a moment, he wrapped his free arm around her. “Thanks for letting me talk about what happened to my dad. I guess I needed to think about it more in perspective. I mean, it was awful what happened, but I feel like he’d hate me if I ruined our first Christmas by being all brooding about it.”


“Brooding? You mean pouty, right?” Teasing, she grinned at him. “But I’m glad you didn’t want to ruin our first Christmas by being broody.”

“Brooding, it’s how good looking guys pout.” He clarified, grinning back at her. “Besides, we’ll have a lot of other Christmases together to ruin.”

“You think we’re going to have a lot more Christmases together?” She asked, this peaking her interest.


“Yeah, I think so. Do you think so?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know that I already know the answer.” She pointed out, grinning at him. “But, yeah, I think we will.”

“That’s good to hear. It’d be too awkward if this was our first and last. We know too much about each other.” He reasoned, and then added. “That and you’ve seen me cry before and that’s awkward enough as it is, I don’t need you telling other people out of break up spite.”


Blinking, Juniper shook her head. “Glad to know this is convenient for you.”

“You know I love you though so it’s more than convenient.” He fiddled with a bit of her hair absently as he said this.

“I love you too.” And even though it wasn’t even Christmas yet, Juniper knew this was going to be a good one.


AN: N’aw, how sweet.

Don’t worry, usual dramatic, dark and relatively depressing stuff will continue soon 😉

I know it’s been like a jillion years since I last posted an update, and I’m sorry, but does Christmas fluff make up for it? I think it does.

Useless information, but I can picture Juniper and Nick dueting ‘Love is an Open Door’ from Frozen, but not intentionally. Like, accidentally and then going full out because they’re just embarrassing.

Chapter 3.37 The Juniper Buckingham Revival

“Or, you probably know me better as Juniper Buckingham.”


There was a pregnant pause as both Juniper and Nick stayed quiet at this. Giving her a look, Nick narrowed his eyes at her before shaking his head and laughing. “Okay, I’ve got to give you credit. You almost had me there believing that you actually were her. You’ve got tomorrow off again, right? We could make it a day trip thing or some-” He was cut off by her interrupting him.

“Nick. I’m not joking. I am Juniper Buckingham.” Her voice was still shaking as she spoke, not aware that it would go like this.


Giving her a disapproving look, Nick grumbled. “If I didn’t believe you the first time, I’m not going to believe you the second time. Quit being so immature.”

“You don’t believe me?” Why would she lie about something so serious like this? “What about this?” She switched the TV back on as it was on the news, still talking about her. She paused it just as her picture was up, explaining how people thought that she had killed her husband. “Believe me now?”

His eyes widened as he glances between the image and the woman stood before him. There was no mistaking that the image and she were the same person.


“You…” Speechless was an understatement. Suddenly being told that his flatmate of over a year (give or take) was a murderer who had faked her own death and had been lying to him this entire time… Needless to say it was a lot to take in. “You-” He repeated, unable to fully process what he’s been told.

“Look, it’s more complicated than you think.” Juniper tried, knowing fully that it wouldn’t be easy to convince him of much.Compared to this, telling him that she was a psychic was almost no big deal.


“Complicated? How is it complicated? You killed your husband Jen! I mean, June, I mean.” His voice was a harsh but he kept it low, and he was getting confused over what to call her. She was supposed to be Jen, but that wasn’t her name. “Whoever the hell you are, there’s nothing complicated about murder.”

“If you were in my situation you’d understand why. You might not condone it, but you’d get why I did it.” Again, she tried to make him at least try and see it her way, or possibly even ask more about it so she could explain herself.


“I don’t care. Not only did you kill someone, you’ve hid it for so long and faked your own death and your daughter’s just so you wouldn’t get caught because you’re too much of a coward to admit that you’ve done wrong.” Shaking his head slightly as he spoke, he became more angered by what she’s done the longer he thought about it. “You’re a monster!”

“Nick, I…” Juniper started and then trailed off. What he said hurt her feelings, but it wasn’t unjust. She had been weaving a web of lies ever since Sam died, and she had been going along with it as if it didn’t hurt anyone else. As she stood still and watched, he went into the girls’ room and got Lainey, walking back out with her a moment later.


“Don’t.” He didn’t care what she had to say, because it didn’t matter. People like that didn’t matter. “I don’t want to hear it.” And with that he left, the door slamming shut behind him.

Juniper stood there in silence, contemplating what had happened. At this moment in time, she wasn’t sure what exactly to do. Her head said to pack her things, move city and pretend like this never happened before he had a chance to act properly on what she had told him, but her heart was telling her that he wouldn’t call the police, and that she would be fine.


One of the worst things about this was the knowledge that Sam was right when she had spoken to him. As snippets of his words rung and ricocheted in her mind, she found that covering her ears only projected it.

“Whatever happens with that, Juniper, you should know that it’s futile. You can’t just pretend it never happened; that you never killed me.”, “He’ll think your a psychopath, and he’ll call the police and have you arrested.” “You’ll never seen Roisin again, and she’ll likely go to one of my family members who’ll raise her the right way, to be like us.”


“When he asks why you don’t sleep properly at night, or when you eventually contradict yourself”. “Even if you refuse to show it all the time, there isn’t a single moment when you don’t feel guilty.”

Being haunted by memories was the last thing Juniper needed at this moment, but despite him being gone for so long, Sam still managed to haunt her and hurt her emotionally and mentally, even if he couldn’t do it physically anymore.


She needed to think, and fast. Obviously, he’ll be calling the police on her, that’s what any sane person would do. Making sure that people would believe her is mandatory, and this time she had to cover up her tracks without the help of her parents.

If she packed what she needed and took Roisin and what Roisin needed, she could go to Daniel and lie about what had happened. She could lie and say that she was falsely accused of being someone who she wasn’t, as the person who she is accused of being is dead. Daniel’s rich, he could afford a good lawyer and get her off the hook with money to spare. Juniper knew he would do it; he doesn’t like Nick anyway despite the two never meeting, and Nick having no clue about Daniel.


“I’m not really sure what you want me to say.” Nick’s younger sister, Katie, mumbled as she watched him. “I mean, I always knew there was something off about her. Even though I’ve only met her briefly, there was still something. Not a psychopathic murdering you when you sleep way, but in a something’s not quite right way.”

“What do you think I should do?” He asked. He had told her everything about Jennifer/Juniper and the situation, including his own personal suspicions. After retelling the story and having time to process it, he was more debating whether or not he should call the police. Gradually, he had been deciding against it, not only for her benefit but for Roisin’s. Even though he was angry at Juniper/Jennifer, Roisin hadn’t done anything wrong, and she didn’t deserve to suffer because of what her mom did.


“Honestly? I think you should talk to her about it. If she was a psychopathic murderer, she would have killed you before you would have had the chance to leave.” Katie pointed out, and then continued with. “Like you told me, you were suspicious of the kind of guy her husband was to start with, now learning that she killed him… I feel like something weird was going on.” Then, speaking quieter, she added. “Not to mention the fact that she contacted you know who, presumably trying to cover up her tracks.”

“Mm.” Nick hummed in agreement, not adding much about the person Katie mentioned. “I guess I should probably go back soon and talk to her before she panics and runs off.” At that moment, he turned to go to where Lainey was but Katie stopped him as she got up.


“I think Lainey should stay here while you talk to her.”

“You sure that’s alright?” He asked, feeling a little unsure about leaving Lainey.

“I’ve raised my own kids, haven’t I? I think I can take care of one more for a night.” Giving him a look, she also added. “And I’ve been doing this longer than you.”

“Alright, alright. Jeez.” Grinning slightly at her as he was about to leave, Nick tried to mentally prepare himself for the conversation he would have with Juniper back at the flat.


At the flat, Juniper had sorted out most of the stuff she was going to take from the apartment. All that she needed to do was call Daniel and ask to stay with him. Easy. That was it. So why was it so hard? Knowing that if she did this, it would basically tie her to him forever. It was easy, just a phone call.

Before she managed to even dial the number, there was a knock at the door. With her heart rising to her throat, she peeked at who was at the door and saw it was Nick. “What do you want?” She asked through the door, not wanting to let him in. Why was he here? Was he going to brag about her getting arrested?


“I’m doing this as a formality, I still have the key so I can enter. I want to talk to you about what you told me.” As he opened the door, Juniper backed up. Only when the door was closed did she speak.

“What? Have you come here to brag or something?” Frowning, she asked this as she kept her distance from him.

“I didn’t call the police.”


Stepping back in shock, Juniper wasn’t sure what to say. “W-Why?” was the only word she managed to choke out amidst the surprise of him keeping her secret, for now.

“Because even though I don’t agree nor condone what you’ve done, it wouldn’t be fair on Roisin to grow up without either of her parents. At this moment in time, I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Roisin because she’s innocent in all this. I care about her in the same way I care about Lainey, and I would never do something like that to either of them.”


Nodding, Juniper kept silent, not knowing entirely what to say.

“I want to know why you did it though.” Folding his arms, he made his intentions clear and didn’t give her the option about it. “I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” In a small voice, Juniper asked in response. Telling him everything would mean confessing what Sam did, and that was something she tried with all her strength to block out. Opening that wound up again voluntarily wasn’t exactly something Juniper wanted to do.



“So uhm…” Juniper started as they sat down in the living room. “You’re going to have to be a little bit patient with me at some points, because it isn’t exactly easy to say.” Speaking in a quiet voice, she refrained from looking over at him. “A lot of the things I’m going to talk about, no one else knew. Only Sam and I knew, and once I say them then you will too of course, but yeah. No one knows the full story of what had happened.”

Tilting his head, Nick watched her, waiting for her to say what happened. Maybe, it wasn’t as simple as he first thought.


“Sam and I got married when I was nineteen, and he was just twenty. My parents were never huge fans of him, nor was I a huge fan of his dad and step-mom, his real mom died when he was little. My best friend at the time Mia was really against me dating him because his family had a track record of being murderers. After we got married, everything was fine. We lived in the Buckingham Mansion which is fucking huge, seriously. For the first month or two I kept getting lost in there. Like I’d go to the bathroom, forget how to get to the living room and I would end up calling him to ask where to go.” Smiling slightly at the memory, Juniper took a moment before continuing.


“He had huge political ambitions, he was always the head of the debate team at school and was student body president, all that stuff. He began to run for mayor, and that was when I perfected my politician’s wife smile. During that time period, we had also decided to at least start trying for a baby, mostly because I kinda talked him into it. About half a year into our marriage, we had been trying for a long time and nothing, his dad had recently died and the stress of work was getting to him.” Taking a long pause before saying the next sentence, Juniper mumbled. “That was the time when he started being abusive.”


“It started off small with him just calling me stupid if I made a mistake. Like if I burned something or forgot to do something, he would just call me an idiot or something. It then began to escalate to when he would get more physical, and he would shout at me, even if I didn’t know what I had done wrong. I would try and talk to him and he would just freeze me out or get angry at me for bothering him, and I couldn’t get upset around him because that would only make things worse.” It took a lot of power to not get upset at this moment, as all she wanted to do was cry. “He would tell me things like how he didn’t love me, and he would make me feel so worthless and pathetic, and I truly did believe it at that time.”


“And no one knew?” Waiting until she had stopped talking for a moment, Nick asked this.

“No one knew. I didn’t let people know. I didn’t want people to know. I hid all the marks he left when he was physical with makeup, and I kept my happy smile on so that no one would expect anything. I wouldn’t let myself believe that my marriage was anything but perfect, so instead of getting help, I tried even harder to make it work when it just wouldn’t work, and even if I did want to leave, I couldn’t. I didn’t even have to try, he wouldn’t have allowed a divorce, and I didn’t want to anger him more by even trying to ask. I was so scared, I just wanted him to love me. Sometimes, he wouldn’t be as angry, and I could actually talk to him and it was as if nothing was broken, but then he would turn around and call me ugly, or question why he even married me.” Staying quiet for a moment, she then continued in a quieter voice with. “It was shortly after then which he won the election and became mayor. Mia was suspicious of what was going on after he broke my jaw-” She was interrupted at that moment.


“He broke your jaw?” A knee jerk reaction, Nick asked this and then apologised for interrupting her. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, he did.” Tilting her head, she drew along a surgical scar mark on the bottom of her jaw. “Completely shattered it there and on the other side. Doctors said it was a miracle I could still talk properly once it was healed. Anyway, Mia was suspicious about everything, and I think she may have told my family too about what she thought was going on. It was about that time when my older sister came over to visit for the day, and it was then that I first found out about Roisin. I remember being so happy because finally I was going to have a baby boy or girl, and I thought maybe then he would be happy.”


“My sister Melody on the other hand, wasn’t as happy. She tried to talk me into leaving Sam and told me that it would be alright if I did, and that all my family would support me and that it wasn’t too hard to do alone. She had Chloe on her own and she reassured me that it wasn’t too bad. I snapped at her and called her jealous and ignored her when she pointed out Sam’s ways. Later that day she turned up dead in my kitchen.” Voice wavering, it was still raw to think about how she only had one sister now. Through the years, she had learned that old scars never stop hurting.

Putting two and two together, he looked over at her. “Wait, your sister Melody Matthews is that Melody Matthews? The one who became editor of that magazine?” Nick asked, having heard of her sister, and the way she found murdered in her sister’s house. He could recall feeling sorry for the sister.


Nodding, Juniper confirmed it. “Yeah, my sister was that Melody Matthews. Sam wasn’t as physically abusive during my pregnancy,but he was still verbally and emotionally abusive. He made comments about my weight gain and the amount I ate and stuff like that. It wasn’t my fault, I was pregnant, I couldn’t help it. Show me someone who’s full term and still a size six and I’ll show you a liar. He wasn’t around about a month before my due date because he had a business trip, so Mia moved in and helped me out a lot with everything. I feel like if I had just listened to Mia and accepted the knowledge that I didn’t need him and would be happier without him, then this whole story would’ve had a different ending, but I was stupid and I didn’t listen to her.”


“Roisn was born shortly after and I had seen a vision about Mia getting killed. I told Mia that she couldn’t visit the mansion anymore because of it. I had told Mia that I was a psychic but she didn’t believe me. As she left, she was killed and found the same way as Melody was. It wasn’t much later that I was contacted by the ghost of Sam’s mom, and she told me that Sam had killed both Melody and Mia, and was planning to kill me so that all of my money would go to Roisin and he would raise her into another Buckingham psychopath, and I looked in the study, where their plan was down in writing according to her, to see if it was true or not. When I saw it was true, I also saw the gun that was in there. Sam entered, we had an argument, and that was when I shot him by accident. I was aiming it, and he tried to grab it off me which was when my finger pulled the trigger, and I shot him.” Juniper then concluded with. “The rest, you know. I moved to Bridgeport, got that sleaze to register my death, and told everyone my name was Jennifer Matthews.”


Nick stayed quiet for quite a long time, not so sure what to say. He was expecting something bad, but not like that. Moving over to her, he spoke in a low voice. “Thank you for telling me, it must have been hard to say that. Remember that no real man would make his wife feel that crap about herself, nor would he ever lay a hand on her in that way.”

Upon hearing that, Juniper finally let herself cry over everything that had happened. Holding onto him tightly as she sobbed, she felt the comfort of his arms going back around her.Even though it was hard to say, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Being able to finally share her burden with someone she could trust made her feel more free, and knowing that she finally managed to tell someone the full story of what happened…


Finally letting go, Juniper then mumbled. “There’s still something I’m curious about: how did you know that sleaze who helped me changed my name?”

Nick sighed slightly as she asked that, his hand still half lingering near her as she drew away. “It’s a long story, Juniper.” He said her name cautiously, it seeming foreign to call her that. “It feels so weird calling you that.”

“Longer story than mine?” She asked, smiling slightly as she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. “You’re going to have to get used to it.”


“I suppose if you can tell me that, I can at least tell you this. My family were high up in the drug cartel here, not quite the big bosses but high enough to make an impact. My sister and I weren’t involved with it, just my parents so we lost connection with the criminals when my parents died about ten years ago, but other cartels still knew who Katie and I were when our parents were actively involved in it. One of our biggest rivals went after Katie when she was about thirteen, I was about seventeen at that point, and she wound up in a lot of trouble. She didn’t tell any of us until she kinda had to. She got the same sleaze as you got to help her out and fake her death so the rival cartel wouldn’t find her.”


“Keeping in mind that she was only still young and naive, and the rest of my family and I didn’t even know. Because she didn’t have any money to offer, she offered the other thing he likes.”

Juniper gave him a puzzled look. “I thought you said your sister was about thirteen?”

“Yeah, she was.” Speaking through gritted teeth, he then sighed heavily and continued with. “She kept it a secret for a hell of a long time, in a dark way, it’s almost rather impressive. I was convinced that she had a boyfriend or something, I used to tease her about it a lot. Not like in a mean way though, in an older brother way.”


“I’ve got two older brothers, trust me, I know how you’re all jerks.” She then continued to ask. “How did you find out about it then?”

“Basically, I’m not so sure how to put it, but you know when I said that my eldest nephew was twelve? He’s not, he’s fourteen now.” He mentioned, and then after seeing Juniper try to work out the maths in her head, he decided to put her out of her arithmetic misery. “Katie had him when she was fifteen.”

Narrowing her eyes, she asked. “Are you implying what I think you are?”


Nodding, he mumbled. “Yeah. That sleaze is my nephew’s dad. When I saw him here and talking with you that way, I just saw history starting to repeat itself. Granted, you’re older than Katie was and you’re more mature than she was, but I don’t know. I didn’t want the same thing or something similar to happen to you.”

Juniper stayed quiet for a short while, and then in a low voice spoke after what felt like an eternity. “Can I make a suggestion?”


“Go ahead.”

“We don’t talk about the things we spoke about tonight, especially not in public. We won’t talk about mine especially for my protection and because they’re both hard things to talk about.”


“I’ll still call you Jen when we’re out in public, and we’ll keep each other’s secret as if they’re our own.” He added onto her suggestion, looking over at her as he did so. “I’m sorry about what I called you earlier.”

“I understand. It’s not everyday you learn something like that. If I were in your shoes, I would’ve been the same way.” Giving him a small smile, she then realised that Nick knew more about her than her family did. They really did know everything about each other now.


AN: And that’s that. He now knows that she killed her husband.

I wouldn’t say he approves of it, definitely not, nor does he condone it, but he understands why she did it. I feel like it’s one of those things they now know about each other, but it’s unlikely for it to be brought up again. I think he had enough clues to know that something was weird in her first marriage, and I think, as weird as it may sound, he does believe that if she was a psychopath, she prolly would’ve killed him by now, or attacked him after she told him that, so I feel like he kinda put two and two together and figured that it wasn’t a kill out of blood lust and it was a kill out of self defence.

I liked going back through the sweet pictures of Juniper and Sam, especially the first memory picture from when they were teens. So cute ^-^ And then it turned rather dark which wasn’t as sweet. I do feel bad for Juniper, but it’s always darkest before the dawn, and she’s happier now and has found a friend she can really trust (and this one won’t get murdered by her husband), and even though she’s still supposedly laying low, she feels more free than before.

I feel like I’ve dressed everyone in the same stuff this chapter lmao. It wasn’t intentional, I swear!

Chapter 3.36 Sharing Secrets

By now, Juniper’s had enough of this.


Walking with a purpose, she opened the door to Nick’s room with a bit of a start. It was still rather early in the morning, and she wasn’t sure how awake he would be, but that didn’t matter.

She was sick of seeing him moping around and not being his usual self, and she figured that all he needed was to get his mind off of Elle. Juniper wasn’t dumb, she knew that he was hurting a lot from his split with Elle and knew that he wouldn’t magically be better the next day, but she knew from experience that being this way wasn’t helpful, and that it was time for tough love.


“Get up.” Commanding as soon as she walked in, Juniper stood by the door with her arms folded.

“What? Why?” Sleep still in his voice, he watched her as she went and opened the curtains. “What the hell are you-“

“We’re going out today, you, me and the girls. Summer’s basically over, and I want to make the most of it while it’s still here. So get up and get ready, and then we’re going.” Standing by the curtains, she watched as he squinted at her and then laid down with his face in the pillow, managing to block out the light.


“I don’t wanna. I don’t feel like it today. Can’t we do it tomorrow instead?” Trying to bargain with her in a vain attempt to get her to leave, he adjusted the way he was positioned, trying to get comfy again.

“Well I don’t feel like seeing you mope around like grumpy teenager who just got dumped. Get up.” Starting to feel like she was being overly mean, Juniper tried her hardest to stick to the tough love plan.


“Ouch.” He commented, finally sitting up and he smiled slightly at her. “You’re a cruel woman, Jenny. You’re not going to leave until I agree to go, are you?”

“Nope. So, are you going to man up and get ready, or am I going to need to get a bucket full of cold water to convince you?” Threateningly, Juniper folded her arms again as she raised an eyebrow challengingly at him. At his hesitation, she sighed heavily and began walking towards the door.

“Alright, alright. I’ll get up. No need to throw cold water on me.” Grumbling, he made more of an effort to look like he was actually getting out of bed. Satisfied, Juniper left the room to give him some privacy.


Juniper had been waiting a fair while for Nick to get ready. She knew he had only just woken up and it was rather early (she never understood how he managed to do daybreak shoots if he can’t even be fully awake at this time. The power of coffee is a glorious thing) but still. He was a guy, guys didn’t have that much to do to get ready. It was most likely that he had gone back to sleep; tricking her into leaving so he could have a bit longer in bed. Well, it wasn’t going to work.


“What are you- oh.” It took him a moment before he realised that she was in, and what he was doing; it took a few moments before the green sparkles vanished. Watching as various objects in the room then clattered to the floor in random places, Juniper was reminded of a vision she had a while before. If she wasn’t mistaken, it was the first one she ever had about Nick, back when the mysterious man in her visions was simply just a mystery. There was also a conflict the then present her felt at feeling this, but as this was happening, she knew what she would do. “It’s okay. You know you can trust me.”


“How much did you see?” Understandably, he was angry at her for entering his room without knocking, and he didn’t quite know how exactly to react in this situation. Sure, people had walked in on him before, but that was when he was doing more normal things.

“It’s okay, I won’t-” She started, not exactly answering his question which was most likely why he cut her of mid-sentence.

“Jen, how much did you see?” When she saw this for the first time, Juniper had no clue who ‘Jen’ was, but now, she knew all too well of the predicament that she’s gotten herself in to, and now knows that she’s Jen, or as far as Nick knows, she’s Jen.


“Everything.” At this answer, she saw him begin to panic, so she carried on further. “I’ve seen it all. I know that you’re a witch, and I know this because I’ve seen it.” Unknowingly copying what she said in her vision word for word, Juniper decided it was best to be honest with him.

“What do you mean, you’ve seen it? You’ve seen me use magic and never questioned it before?” Giving her a look, he asked this. How could she possibly know otherwise?


“Not exactly. I know you’re a witch because I’ve seen this conversation. I’ve seen is as in, having a premonition of it.” When she was witnessing this vision, Juniper was panicking about what was going through her mind to possibly tell someone her biggest secret, but now, she felt calm and collated. Maybe it was because she had a much worse skeleton in the closet, or maybe she really did trust Nick.

“Wait, wait, wait. Premonition? As in the things mediums have? You’re a medium?” He asked many questions at once, rather confused by her story.

Grinning cheekily, Juniper simply responded with. “I prefer the term psychic, it sounds cooler, but yes.” And like that, her psychic abilities were no longer something only her family knew, and the rest of the conversation happened just like in her vision.


“So, how long have you been a psychic for?” The beach was empty; most children were back at school (Roisin and Lainey were still too young for anything besides daycare) and people with normal nine to five jobs were at work. It was nice because it meant that Roisin and Lainey had a lot more space to play, and Juniper and Nick could watch them easier.

“All my life. I don’t know where I got the ability from and I don’t know when I got it or how, but it’s all I’ve ever known.” She answered the question simply, smiling at him as she did so. “I’m taking your a similar way with your ability?”

“Yeah, similar way as in it’s all I’ve ever known, but my sister’s one too, as were my parents so I kinda know where mine comes from.” Smiling in return, he then commented.”It feels so weird being able to talk about it with someone else.”


“I know! Like not even all my in-laws know. Most of them think that I just have a scarily good intuition.” Juniper laughed a little, and then asked. “Do you think Lainey’s inherited it? Roisin doesn’t seem to have mine, as she likely would’ve mentioned something weird by now.”

“Really? They believe that?” Nick laughed also, and then answered her question. “Nah, she’s not got it. It’s not that useful anyway really. I’m not that great at it and it’s kinda gotten worse over generations. My granddad said that his granddad was quite good at it, but all I can really do is move things and trick people so yeah. Even if Lainey did have it, all she’d be able to do is move something closer or further away from herself.” Shrugging, he then summed up. “It’s not that great, so I only really use it if I can’t be bothered to move things.”

“Anyway,” Juniper started, changing the subject to something she’s only just become aware of. “I never knew you had that tattoo by the way.” It made her feel a little bad for being so unobservant, but she never had seen it before.


“The one with Lainey’s name and a footprint?” Looking over at his right shoulder, he continued. “Yeah I got that about two weeks after she was born, so about a week before Elle left the first time.” Mumbling the last bit, the sand became exceedingly interesting as Nick refused to look over at at Jen.

Staying quiet for a beat, Juniper sighed and commented. “You’ve got to stop this. Stop thinking about her. I know it’s hard because you’ve been with her for so long, but you’ve got to understand that you’re not the same person you were when you met her, and she’s not the same either. I mean, she’s some haughty business woman who’s a pain in the arse, and you’re a photographer who’s still kinda a pain sometimes but at least you’re a decent person.  Would you really have been happy with her? Knowing that she didn’t really like kids, and you being you, wrapped around Lainey’s finger already before she even knows how to sweet talk you. Do you really think it would have worked out?”


Staying quiet for a while, Nick’s attention was on where Lainey and Roisin were playing just a few feet before them. With his attention turning back to Jen, he smiled slightly at her. “I guess I needed to hear that. I think I’m just trying to hold onto the past when that’s not what now is.” After a beat, he then asked. “Did you see that Elle and I wouldn’t end up together? And that was why you were so against me getting back together with her?”

Juniper nodded, giving him a guilty, small smile as she did. “Yeah. I did, or the few things I saw when you stayed together, you were miserable with her. I tried to warn you but you were just too stubborn” Grinning at him, she nudged him as she said that.


“In my defence though, I didn’t know you were psychic then.” He rightly pointed out, and then out of curiosity he asked. “Have you seen anything else about me?”

Pursing her lips slightly, Juniper thought of a way to answer that. If she answered honestly about the visions she had seen of the two of them together… It would raise more complicated issues than what she needed right now. So, she answered with. “Yes. I have.”

Waiting for her to be a little more descriptive, Nick then asked. “And?”


“Hey, I usually charge people quite a large amount for this. Don’t go thinking you can get it for free.” Laughing, Juniper rolled her eyes at him. “What I’ve seen of you is good. You start a new relationship, get married, have kids, the whole shebang. That’s all I’m going to tell you though.”

“Can’t I know at least a little bit more?” He bargained, finding it interesting to know things about his future. He never pictured himself getting married again, nor having more kids than just Lainey, so it was interesting to hear. A large part of him didn’t fully believe it and just thought that she was messing with him.

Shaking her head, Juniper was adamant. “Nope. If I tell you, then it might run the risk of you doing something because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do, which would end up with your future not being the way I explained.”


Nodding, Nick then commented. “Complicated.” There was the sound of his phone ringing. Glancing down at it, he rolled his eyes and hung up.

“Who was it?” Juniper asked out of curiosity.

“This magazine I’ve done a few paparazzi gigs for. I did them a lot when I was starting out, and this place likes the type of pictures I manage to get of people. I don’t like doing it, it’s kinda gross, but money’s money. If I’ve got nothing on then I take them, but they’ll find someone else.”


Pulling a face, Juniper commented. “I didn’t know you did that kinda stuff.”

“I usually don’t. I get quite a few of them calling me every once in a while, especially around a celebrity scandal, but I only take those jobs if I’m offered a serious amount. Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not one of those creepy paparazzis when I do it. I ask for a picture, make sure they look alright in it, treat them like a person. I’m not one of those creeps who hides out in the bushes and who has to edit out leaves.”


Nodding, Juniper still didn’t exactly understand why, but then again it was easy to judge from the outside. “So, anyway. You’ve still not told me the whole story behind that guitar in your room.” Grinning, she then added. “I’m hoping it’ll be embarrassing.”

Groaning, Nick’s head went into his hand. “It is. So, basically, when I was at uni, I thought that it would be easier to flirt with girls if I knew how to play a guitar…” He started, and Juniper knew that she was right over this being embarrassing.


Later that day, back at the flat, Juniper and Nick were both carrying in two sleepy toddlers. He was less than pleased at the moment because that magazine wasn’t letting up, and kept trying to call him for what he presumed to be a paparazzi job.

Almost as soon as the girls were put down and they were out of the room, his phone started ringing again. “For fucks…” He grumbled, and then looked over at Jen. “They’re not going to give up until I answer, are they?” She shook her head in response, and then answered the phone. “Hello? Speaking.”


It wasn’t long after that until the flat phone starting ringing. Juniper couldn’t explain it, but at this moment, she was feeling panicked, as if she already knew that something bad was going to happen. As soon as she answered it, she asked. “Hello?”

She hardly had time to answer before she heard her sister sigh with relief. “Oh thank God you’ve finally answered.”


“What’s going on?” Juniper asked, panicking now. Belle had promised to try and not call Juniper too often, so no unnecessary suspicion was brought to them.

“I’m so, so sorry. Some attention craving idiot made a statement about the case, and the media’s going wild about it.” Belle began to explain,and then continued with. “Someone said that they saw Mrs Buckingham out and about in Glendalough, which obviously isn’t true being as though she’s deceased.” Belle had worked out a way to talk in code when talking to Juniper, learning to mention her in third person instead of second.


“What?!” In a hushed tone, Juniper demanded to know. How could someone do that?! How could someone crave attention so much that they would make up slander like that. “I-I” She stammered, not knowing how to comprehend this.

“We’re trying to calm down the media and tell them that it’s false, but for the mean time, I hope that if she is still alive, she doesn’t draw any attention to herself.” And with that, Belle hung up, leaving a panicked Juniper to dwell on the knowledge that there would be a frenzy of people trying to find her.

Quickly, Juniper went over to the TV and switched on the news. Glendalough was far enough so that no one knew widely of her family, but it was close enough so she could see their constituency’s news.


“And here we stand in front of the abandoned mansion where the previous mayor Sam Buckingham’s dead body was found and where he used to live with his wife and young daughter. Shortly after his death, his wife Juniper Buckingham and their daughter were found dead in a car in a lake, presumably drowned, but it that the whole truth?” Accompanied by the story was a picture of Juniper, or the version of Juniper prior to moving to Bridgeport.

Shaking, her hands went up to her face as all she could do was sit and watch.


“Hey Jen?” There was the sound of Nick calling her. For a while, she had forgotten that he was even here, or that anyone was even there. She was caught up in her own world. She managed to turn off the TV and stand up before he came closer to her. “You used to live near Glendalough, right?”

“Uhh, kinda close, why?” She asked, already fearing the worst. If a magazine had kept calling him to find and track someone down and get pictures, and now he was asking about Glendalough…


“That magazine just offered me a hell of a lot of money to find this woman over in Glendalough, someone called Juniper Buckingham, I think? I was kinda hoping you could show me around and help me out a bit, because if you lived there, you probably have a good idea of who she is.”

Shaking her head, Juniper laughed slightly, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice. “You really don’t want to go there, trust me. It’s not the best place to go. Besides, I thought you said you didn’t do those jobs anymore.”


“I don’t but they’re offering me up to five grand to get this one picture of this one woman. Apparently she murdered her husband or something?” Shaking his head slightly, he then continued with. “Why wouldn’t I want to go there? It’s probably a nicer place than here is.”

“Just trust me on this. You won’t want to go there. It’s not a nice place. It may seem all nice on the outside, but it’s not. It’s not worth the money.” She tried her hardest to convince him, but she knew it wouldn’t be all too easy, based on the fact that five grand was a lot of money just for one picture.


“Why are you being so weird about this?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

At that moment, Juniper knew fully well that there was no chance of her leaving this conversation without confessing her biggest secret to him. But how would he react? How would he react to her telling him that she was the one he needed a picture of? And that she was the infamous woman from Glendalough who murdered her husband. Sighing heavily, she mumbled. “Because I’ve been lying to you.”


“I’ve been lying to you about my name. You think I’m called Jennifer Matthews, but I’m not. My real first name is Juniper, so I’m Juniper Matthews. Or, you probably know me better as Juniper Buckingham.”


AN: I wasn’t expecting this chapter to have this ending, but then I want something else to happen sooner and I changed how something else happens and it would be a bit weird if the changed event went before this event (like how I originally planned) as I feel like the changed event is more personal that the original event, so this had to happen now. That last picture of Juniper makes her look kinda psychopathic and I low key love that.

It’s funny looking back at that vision, because that’s when I first wrote a bit of Nick’s character, and it’s so weird because his general persona has changed so much since then. I feel like he’s become more caring and emotional (if that makes sense? The him I pictured before wouldn’t have been as broken up about Elle leaving him again) but less arsey. I originally pictured him being kinda arsey and eye roll-ish, but I think I’ve given him a lot more depth now which is a good thing ^-^ .

Unrelated note: my jaw kills and it hurts to talk which is annoying because I don’t talk much anyway so now even less so xD It just feels like stiff if that makes sense? Like you know that stiffness and when you open your mouth wide or crack it, then it goes away? That kinda pain but it’s just more painful opening my mouth and it won’t crack and ugh.

People don’t appreciate the plights of my life.

I think the painkillers I had have a drowsy thingy in them because I feel super tired and it’s only five to nine. They’re not really working right now too, hmph.

eta: it’s about twenty five past now and they’re working a tad bit better. I’m just clenching and moving my jaw though to see the tolerance because I’m curious.

Chapter 3.35 Juniper the Trophy

“So I’m not so sure when I’ll be back.”


Juniper started, talking to Nick as she checked the time on her phone, and then to see if any lipstick had gotten on her teeth “I’ve already made sure the girls are fast asleep and l have done the bedtime routine early so you won’t have to.”

“Thanks Mom, but will I still get my allowance because you did it even when I’m fully capable of it?” Sarcastically, Nick asked and then continued in a slightly irritated tone with “It’s like you’ve forgotten that one of them is mine, and that I used to live here and I know how you do things.”


“I know you know, and I know you know that I’m a perfectionist and I like things done an exact way, especially when it comes to Roisin, and since you’ve not been around all too long because you moved out to be with El-” Juniper trailed slightly and tried to change what she was going to say when she saw Nick narrow his eyes at her “-lady who we shall not mention, I was worried you had forgotten.”

Sitting up, Nick gave her a look. “Trust me, I remember the whole bedtime routine.” When he wasn’t living there, he tried to teach Elle a slightly simpler and less embarrassing (Jen was already an embarrassing mom; he felt kind of sorry for what a teenaged Roisin would have to deal with) routine, but she wouldn’t take it, she thought it was stupid.


“Well, I’m not sure how long I’ll be, but if you need anything…” She trailed off, not especially wanting to go out tonight. Daniel had bought and refurbished an art gallery and tonight was the opening for it, and Juniper had no feasible excuse to not go to it. It would be another fancy party, just like the ones she was married.

Just as Juniper was about to leave, Nick commented. “Your hair’s different, it makes you look different.”

Giving him a sceptical look, Juniper replied. “That’s kinda why I dyed it, sweetheart.”


“You know what I mean. I mean that you look more grown up. You look like a stereotypical mom now, you’re just missing the mom jeans and the massive bag with the contents of the universe in it but you’ve got the constantly talking about your kid bit down.” Cracking a small smile, it was probably the first genuine one since he moved back in with her.

“Jeez, it’s just gone from blue to brunette, I’m hardly going to throw my taste in clothes out the window.” Juniper laughed in return, smiling back at him. It was nice to see that he at least still remembered how to smile. Part of her wanted to talk to him about what happened, but she knew that he probably didn’t want to talk about it. “I’ll see you later.”


There was the sound of the door opening, closing and then locking. At that point in time, he was alone with his thoughts. This was dangerous as it lead to him thinking about what happened with Elle, and all the small things he should have picked up on earlier. One of the main things he should have focuses on was when they went to her parents house so Lainey could meet her grandparents.


Nick was out in the living room while Elle was talking to her parents in the dining room. Even though he was playing with Lainey, he could briefly make out the conversation. He thought that he had heard it incorrectly at the time.

“I’m just saying Elaine, we don’t want to lose her again because you can’t cope.”

“This time’s different, I can cope this time. I’m going to be there for my daughter this time.”

“It’s been too long since we last saw her, and we don’t want her staying solely with him. If you need to go, tell us before hand so we can sort things out. We don’t trust our granddaughter with the likes of him.”


Elle’s parents never liked him, mostly because of who he was and his family connections, but that didn’t used to bother Nick because he’s only be obliged to see them on their birthdays, Elle’s birthday or each alternative Christmas when he and Elle were married.

Now however his ex-in laws did matter because when Elle walked out this time, there were custody papers left waiting for him. Her parents wanted full custody of Lainey, and were preparing to fight him for full custody in court.


And the worst part was that it felt like it was all his fault. It was all his fault, Lainey’s probably going to get taken away from him because he made the stupid mistake of trusting Elle again, and thinking that it would all somehow work out. Did this make him a bad dad? Because he really did feel like one. He put his own wants in front of Lainey’s, and tried to make it seem like it would benefit her, when he wasn’t sure if it would benefit her or not, and it didn’t. Now because of his stupid mistake, Lainey might think that her mom didn’t care about her, or even worse, he might lose custody of her and never see her again.

A small creaking sound coming from the door opening broke his train of thought. “Daddy?”


“I had nightmare.” Sniffling, Lainey made her way into the room. “It was really scary.” At her reasoning, she tried to clamber up onto the bed because Daddy’s cuddles made everything better.

“C’mere.” So many parenting experts said to just put the child back to bed if they got out, but Nick could tell that Lainey really just wanted to talk. He helped her up and sat her next to him, to which she immediately burrowed into him. It was obvious that she was still tired, as she closed her eyes as soon as she was next to him. “Do you want to talk about it? Or was it really bad?”


“Really bad.” Lainey mumbled, and after a beat decided to talk about it. “Y-You weren’t here, and Jenny weren’t and Ro weren’t and I were scared and I don’t like it.” Whimpering at the memory, she shook her head in a vain attempt to forget the scary dream. “Really don’t.”

Hugging her back as he sat up, Nick gave her a sympathetic look. “That’s all over now though, you’re up and it was just a dream. You know nothing like that is ever going to happen.” He reassured her. “I’ll never, ever leave you, and I’ll scare away any boys that like you, and you’ll be my little Lainey forever.” Kissing her on the top of her head, he promised her that. One day, he knew that Lainey would come to dislike how protective he was over her, but he knew first hand what guys could be like.She would be thankful, one day, possibly.



Snickering, Lainey shook her head at him. “You’re so silly, Daddy, but I love you.” She grinned at him, reassuring him in return.

“I love you too Lainey Loo.” Lainey gave him a look when he called her that, she wasn’t a huge fan on the nickname he gave her (and the one which Roisin had picked up on). As Nick gave her the same look back, Lainey started to laugh.

It made him so happy when Lainey was happy, more than would’ve thought. He couldn’t imagine his life without Lainey, and it was hard to think of a future where he wouldn’t have her. His little girl was his whole world, and there was no way he would ever let his in-laws get full custody of her, or even partial. Lainey was his little girl and only his.


Fancy parties still weren’t Juniper’s cup of tea. They weren’t her favourite thing when she was married to Sam, and they still weren’t her favourite thing. They would never be a favourable thing. Part of her thought that after her marriage to Sam ended, she would never go to another fancy party again, but lo and behold, here she was at a fancy party.

Daniel had recently bought an old art gallery and had it fixed up and restocked with new pieces of artwork, and tonight was the opening night. Art had never been Juniper’s forte at school, and even when Mia used to speak about her art degree, she never understood any of it so tonight was a lot of smiling, nodding and pretending like she was interested with full knowledge of what was going on, just like all the fancy parties before when she was married.


The bright side of when she was married to Sam, most of the classy parties were after he became mayor, which meant that nine times out of ten, she could use her pregnancy or Roisin being tiny as an excuse not to go. She couldn’t exactly use that as an excuse now unfortunately; saying that Roisin was only two and a bit years old wasn’t as effective as her being only a month old. That and she had Nick back at the apartment who was more than capable of looking after Roisin for a few hours (he had enough experience to look after another toddler as well as his own).

She definitely couldn’t use pregnancy as an excuse anymore now without bringing up questions and speculations, not to mention scaring Daniel half to death by trying to use it. It might be rather amusing to use one day though as a joke, just to see his reaction, but not now.


A difference was that this time Juniper was able to break off from the main group and explore on her own, seeing as though she didn’t have anyone to please so they would vote for her husband. It was much nicer this way around as a lot less smiling was involved and she didn’t feel like an award winning show dog being paraded around. If anything, they were almost enjoyable on her own and even more so that she could drink while she was there.

She was almost having fun, until she came across a particular sculpture which was isolated in it’s own little room.


“Oh dear God.” Mumbling, Juniper looked up in horror at the statue’s face, and saw her own face looking back at her. She tried to convince herself that she was just being neurotic or paranoid by thinking the woman in the sculpture was her, but she knew she wasn’t being. The hair, the facial details, the sneer, the expensive looking attire… It was her. Well, it was who she used to be.


Looking over  at the name and description of the piece, Juniper mumbled it aloud as she read. “‘The Trophy Wife’ by Katia Yakovna.” The Trophy Wife? She was not a trophy wife! Yes they had a lot of money, and Sam was the breadwinner, and Juniper did have a very lavish life without having to do much, or any work for that matter, but she wasn’t a trophy wife! … Right?

That wasn’t important right now though. She wanted to know why this statue was even a thing, and wanted to slap the person who made it. Juniper looked disgraceful in it! It was an insult. How rude to use her for something, and then make her look that terrible. This woman shouldn’t quit her day job to pursue  being an artist, that’s for sure. Statue Juniper looked really creepy.


Ignoring that thought, she continued by reading the description. “I had the pleasure of meeting this creature at my old job at a cafe. The Trophy Wife is based off of none other than Mrs Juniper Buckingham, the ultimate trophy wife. Her complaints to my boss got me fired, which gave me the inspiration to pursue my artistic dreams and show the monster within Juniper Buckingham.” Stepping back, the gravity of the situation landed on her. If someone saw her next to the sculpture then her entire identity would be blown. All the effort she put into hiding herself would be in vain. Everyone would realise that Juniper Buckingham was alive, and then she’d have to answer the ugly question of why she tried to hide her identity which would eventually lead to her getting the guilty verdict in court and going to prison. She can not go to prison, she’s no where near tough enough for that!

If she left now however, before people could make the connection between herself and her sculpture self, then it would just seem like rather distasteful artwork about one half of a deceased couple (compared to if she stayed and people realised that she was who she was, and that Juniper Buckingham wasn’t dead, then she would have to answer questions about how she’s alive when she’s supposed to be dead.)


Quickly, she went to find Daniel to tell him that she couldn’t stay. She wasn’t sure what she would say, but she needed to say something. If she stayed then disaster would soon follow.

Luckily, it seemed that he was looking for her as she found him in the corridor. The first thing she said was. “I’m really sorry, I have to go home. There’s an emergency at home. One of the girls got out of bed and slipped on the kitchen floor and hit her head.” She lied surprisingly well. Juniper had learned how to lie in her years, which was a useful skill to have, especially in her predicament.

Narrowing his eyes at her, Daniel wasn’t so sure if he believed her, or whether she would even be needed at home if this Nick was already there. Besides, how big of a deal could it be? “Alright, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay.” Juniper gave a small smile, and kissed him goodbye before rushing home. Maybe her current startled stance made it seem more realistic and made him less likely to argue, but she left before he had the chance to object to her leaving.


Upon getting home, Juniper sighed heavily and leaned against the front door. What a night. She almost had her cover blown and she was insulted and called a trophy wife, and learned that she accidentally got a barista fired.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” Nick had just put Lainey back to bed when he saw Jennifer had come back to the flat.


“Let’s just say that it’s been a long night and it’s only been an hour and a half.” Mumbling, she really wanted to talk about what had happened, but who with? If she told him part of it, she would have to tell him everything, and now was not the time to talk about her ex-husband whom she murdered.

“Wanna talk about it?” Sensing that she really wanted to discuss it, he offered to. He didn’t expect her to want to talk about it though; she often changed the subject, answered vaguely, or just ignored him when she didn’t want to talk about something.


“I had a personal realisation about the person I used to be and I didn’t like it.” Answering simply, she gave him a rather bitter smile before asking in return, signalling that was the end of her talking about her troubles. “Do you want to talk about those professional looking papers in your room?” Not that she was looking, but she saw some official looking documents on top of his drawers when she was in his room. What they were however, she had no idea.

Sighing heavily, Nick looked at the floor for a long time before finally telling her what they were. “They’re information about a court custody hearing.”


“What?” Giving him a confused look, Juniper asked this for clarification and whether she heard him right or not as he already had full custody of Lainey, why would he have to go through that again? “I thought… Wait, what?” She thought Elle had left him again without warning because she couldn’t deal with it. If she couldn’t deal with half the responsibilities of having a toddler,  how could she cope on her own?

“Elle’s parents, my ex in-laws, want full custody of Lainey because they don’t like the fact that they don’t see her, and they don’t like the thought of her being with someone like me despite the fact that I’ve raised Lainey without their input and without their daughter’s input but for some reason they think they can do a better job.” Snapping, Nick was unaware of the fact that he was raising his voice until he saw Jennifer take a few steps back.


“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.” It still made him curious as to why she did that. If he ever got annoyed by anything or seemed angry, she would back away as if she was expecting something. It brought up questions as to why she did it; he knew that she trusted him so why did she do it? Maybe it’s something he’ll find out about another time. Even though it was bad to make snap judgements and delve too deep into things, Nick couldn’t help but be slightly suspicious of her adult life before coming to Bridgeport, and even more suspicious of her ex-husband and the type of person he was.



Shaking her head, Juniper took a step forward, unaware that she took a few steps back. “It’s alright, I get that you’re pissed off at them. But you know that they’re never going to take Lainey away. We won’t let them.” With her voice filled with determination, she smiled at him. “If you ever need any help playing dirty, I happen to be rather good at that.”

“I don’t think that dirty tactics are the best way to go, but I’ll keep that in mind, just in case.” He smiled back at her, opening his bedroom door behind himself. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”And with that, Juniper went back to her own room.



After taking off her makeup and getting into her pyjamas, Juniper was sat on her bed, and glanced down at her phone. She noticed that she had a few texts from Daniel, but she didn’t feel like replying right now. She just sat in her dark room, and wondered:

Was she really a trophy wife? Obviously she wasn’t anymore, but was that really the way she was seen when she was married to Sam?

The thought just didn’t sit right with her.


AN: That dress kinda makes Junie look like a fruity iced drink from Starbucks or Cafe Nero, you know what I mean? Kinda like a fruity one but it’s got grenadine in it which explains the colouring of it. /nonsense

Cookies if you get where I got the inspiration for the literal trophy wife bit from!

In case you don’t know, I got inspiration for it from Jane the Virgin. Carys: Skip the brackets. There are spoilers in there. Start again from after the grumpy face. (Anyway, you know that episode in season two where the Marbella is failing and someone cancels their wedding and Petra tries to make it right and the woman hates her because of how Petra used to be when she was married to Raf and the woman was an artist and made that sculpture of Petra coming out of the trophy with jewellery all in her hands and all the money behind her, and there’s the tiara and she’s grinning? For those of you who have no clue what I’m on about: picture reference (spoiler warning for season two if you’ve not seen it and are watching it)) and Petra’s reaction to it kind of reminded me of Juniper in a weird way? Well, kinda. Like it’s hard to explain. They’re very, very,  very different (not gonna lie, I love Petra more and dear lord the season two finale, don’t even get me started on what that cow Anezka’s done 😡 ) but in a weird way, I feel like they’re marginally similar, and when Petra wasn’t happy with being called a trophy wife because she felt like she was more than that, it reminded me of Juniper because she was a trophy wife (even though she would hate to admit it) but she doesn’t like the thought that she was one, and doesn’t classify herself as it because she didn’t see herself as one; she thought she had made more of an impact rather than just being a rich man’s wife. When really, that’s all she was to other people. They only knew her as Sam Buckingham’s wife, or Mrs Buckingham, etc etc.

Juniper’s feminist side was dulled down by the fact that if anyone saw her next to the statue, they might put two and two together and she could be arrested. Even though she’s a super feminist, she’s not stupid and won’t focus on some silly little statue when her identity’s in danger.

But when I saw that scene, I was like “I need to recreate this”.

This AN is a super duper long already, but I feel kinda sad about something. Originally, I wanted the statue to be sat on a throne of gold bars or cash, but I couldn’t find either so I had to go more on the nose as a literal trophy wife, which is kinda sad but hey. It’s more on the nose now xD and reflects more to the reference.

Anyhoo, thank you for reading

Chapter 3.34 Introductions

Today was an important day


Today was the day in which Juniper would finally introduce Daniel to Roisin. Needless to say, Juniper felt nervous in case either one didn’t like the other. Obviously, if Daniel didn’t like Roisin or vice verse, the relationship couldn’t continue because Roisin comes first and Juniper wouldn’t want to do anything that made her daughter unhappy (even if it made herself unhappy), but Juniper really liked him. She liked how he treated her like a princess.


Tonight was the opening of one of Daniel’s new nightclubs and Juniper had promised that she would help out to set up this afternoon, and then she would bring Roisin along too. so she didn’t have to put Roisin in daycare during the day and also so the two of them could meet.


“You know Ro, we’re going to have to get ready soon. We’ve got things to do today.” Juniper broke the news gently, knowing that Roisin liked her pyjama days (just like Juniper did also).

Turning to face her mommy, Roisin sulked. “Don’t wanna. Hafta?” Asking this, Roisin walked over to her mommy and smiled sweetly in the hopes of getting her way.


“Yep, we have to. We’re meeting my special friend today, remember?” Juniper reminded her, speaking carefully as she did so.

Roisin gave her mommy a look that said ‘seriously? That’s what I’m getting ready for?’ and then sighed heavily . “Fine.” She grumbled, looking at her mommy expectantly and waiting for her to pick her up.


“Okay, so remember, best behaviour and be nice to my special friend. I really want you two to get along.” Juniper bent down to Roisin’s height as they were just outside of the nightclub’s main area, where most of the setting up needed to take place. “If you get bored or have nothing to do, I’ve brought some of your dolls along too.”

Roisin nodded, smiling sweetly. “Okie dokie mommy. Doll now?” She asked, wanting to get one now in case she needed it later. Or now; she could do with a doll now.


“Not now, we at least have to go inside first.” Juniper stood back up properly, taking Roisin’s hand as they walked inside.

Sighing, Roisin followed her mommy further into the weird place. It had weird bright lights and it looked weird. She didn’t like it. It wasn’t very pink, and there weren’t many fluffy or cute things.


Upon seeing Daniel, Juniper grinned and went towards him. “Daniel, hey.”

“Hey you.” Grinning in return, the two of them kissed when they were close enough, and Roisin rightly commented.

“Ewwww, gross! Icky!”


“You must be Roisin.” Daniel grinned at her, bending down to her height. “I’m Daniel; your mom’s friend.”

“Mom-my.” Roisin corrected, adding a lot of emphasis on the ‘my’ bit of the word, but smiled at him anyway despite his mistake. “Hi! I’m Ro.” She introduced herself to him, despite Daniel already knowing her name.


“Right.” Speaking rather curtly, he narrowed his eyes at her before smiling again at her. “Anyway, I’ve got something special for you.”

This caught Roisin’s attention as she grinned at her mommy then back at her mommy’s friend while bouncing with excitement. She loved surprises! Excitedly, she watched as her mommy’s friend went to get it from behind the counter.


Daniel got a toy out from behind the bar, and placed it in front of an excited Roisin. “I saw this, and I thought someone might like it.”

Squealing with delight, Roisin took the toy from him. So far, Roisin liked mommy’s new friend. “Thank you.” She smiled sweetly at him as she admired her new doll.


“Can I go play?” Roisin asked her mommy, smiling as she did so. Her new bunny was so cute! It was pink and fluffy and pink!

“Stay over by that sofa, okay? Do you see where I mean? The grey one with the corner bit.” Juniper instructed Roisin, and watched as her daughter scurried off to go play with her new doll.


When they were alone, Juniper smiled at Daniel, “You didn’t have to do that you know.” She looked up at him, really appreciative of what he’s done. It was so sweet that he got something for Roisin.

“I thought it would help to keep her occupied, you know? I don’t want her getting in the way and possibly messing things up.” He looked over at where Roisin was sat, hopefully not messing up the furniture.


Juniper nodded, thinking about what he said. Did he see her daughter as a nuisance? It was half understandable that she would be a little in the way today as she couldn’t exactly help out, but it made Juniper think all the same. Then again, he wasn’t used to kids, and it can’t be easy on him dating someone like her; someone who has a daughter. “So what do you want me to help with?” She asked, wanting to make sure that he knew that at least she was useful.

“There’s a few boxes around the back with drinks and other stuff needed behind the bar, so can you bring them around here and someone else can show you where they go.”


“The kitten then saw the very old and wise owl. The kitten then asked ‘are you my mommy?’.The owl answered ‘I can’t be your mommy, I’ve got wings and you don’t!’ So the kitten continued to try and find her mommy.” Juniper read from the very dull book about a kitten who had lost it’s mother. Honestly, it wasn’t as entertaining for adults as it was for toddlers. It seemed much more shocking to Roisin when the owl wasn’t the kitten’s mother, compared to Juniper’s reacted which was a silent “well duh”.

Roisin was laid down in her new big-girl bed, struggling to keep her eyes open. She wanted to know if the kitty found her mommy, but she was tired and wanted to go to sleep but she wanted to know! It was a hard choice for her to make: sleep or story.


Juniper noticed that Roisin was going to drop off at any moment, so she closed the story book. “I think we’ll keep on reading tomorrow baby, okay?” She whispered, moving one of her cuddly toys closer. “You’ve got Bunny, and you’ve both had story time. Time to say nighty night”

“Nighty night Bunny, nighty night Mommy.” She kissed the cuddly rabbit goodnight, and then her tired eyes drifted up to Juniper expectantly as she puckered up her lips.

Juniper kissed Roisin goodnight. “Nighty night Roly Poly, I love you.”

Humming in response, Roisin fell asleep.


As she cautiously left Roisin’s room, Juniper checked her phone after closing the door. After helping Daniel set up the nightclub, or at least as much as she could help, Juniper used Roisin as an excuse to quickly leave. She could tell that Daniel was annoyed by this but Juniper still hated nightclubs. The first one she went into was with Mia and Brie when she was a teenager, and that’s the last one she’ll ever go into. Even though she knew she would be safe, she just didn’t feel comfortable in nightclubs, nor did she feel safe.

She felt guilty for not going with him, but at the same time, she really didn’t want to go.


She had helped by setting up beforehand and by making things look nice, but places like that just weren’t her cup of tea. That, and it’s an exclusive club, meaning it’ll be the type of fancy party she used to go to all the time when she was with Sam; Juniper would be perfectly happy go never go to one of those parties ever again. Whether or not it would be exactly like that however, Juniper was still unsure, but the mere chance of it being a nightclub party mixed with a fancy party was enough to put her right off the idea.


She kind of wished that Daniel was the kind of guy who would be happy sitting in front of the TV and watching movies with her. When Nick was still living here, they would watch movies together if they had nothing better to do, and Juniper really missed that. It felt lonely sitting on the sofa and choosing a moving on her own. However, at least now she got to watch horror movies; Nick wasn’t a huge fan of them as he thought they were dull and predictable. Now Juniper could watch all the horror movies she wanted! Ha ha!


About forty minutes into it, Juniper realised that watching a horror movie in the dark, alone, and in the city which was dangerous for someone like her as it was. It wasn’t the worst movie watching experience, that went to the time when Mia was helping out Juniper just before Roisin was born, and Mia suggested watching Rosemary’s Baby together (Juniper had no clue what the movie was about, and Mia thought that this prank was absolutely hilarious. Luckily, Roisin turned out to actually be her child and not the spawn of satan but still it wasn’t cool).


Holding onto the sofa, Juniper’s eyes were glued to the screen. This was a bad idea. It was a bad idea to watch horror movies on her own. She never used to get scared by them; she used to tease Sam about not liking them when they were first dating, but here she was, terrified by a horror movie.

She would have been fine eventually, only there was a knock at the door.


It was a persistent sounding knock, and Juniper turned off the TV and waited to see if they left. The knocking sound occurred again and Juniper pushed herself further back into the sofa. What if it was a crazed killer? No, crazed killers wouldn’t knock, or maybe they would! Maybe they would take advantage of women like her, saying that they needed the bathroom or something else like that, come inside, and then stab!

The knocking sound occurred for the third time; Juniper figured it wouldn’t go away on its own.


Once she fished out the baseball bat Belle had made her take (Belle didn’t trust Juniper with something like a gun, but she did want her to have some sort of personal protection). She kind of liked having the bat in her hand; it made her feel more powerful.


Juniper peeked through the peep hole, only to see dark hair which really wasn’t useful. She didn’t know who was at the door and assumed the worst.

Positioning herself so she was ready to swing, Juniper slowly opened the door and closed her eyes as swung as hard as she could because she didn’t recognise who it was right away. Her reality soon became a nightmare when she realised that the person on the other side of the door caught the bat as it swung. Panicking, she opened her eyes to see who it was as she lowered the bat.

“I knew you were pissed at me, but I didn’t realise I upset you that much.”


Her fear turned into embarrassment very quickly as she asked. “What are you doing here?” And she snatched back her bat from Nick and put it down by the front door.

“I know I should have called and I’m really sorry but I tried and you weren’t picking up and I…” He trailed off and sighed. “I just really needed to go somewhere, know what I mean?” Even though it was dark, Juniper could see that his eyes were slightly red and puffy. Had he been crying over something? No… Surely not. Juniper wasn’t sure if Nick even knew how to cry.


“I get it.” She really wanted to be angry at him, but she just couldn’t be. Stepping to the side, she let him in. “I suppose I can always let a friend of Roisin’s in, and I guess you can tag along.” She teased lightly.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it Jen.” As he stepped inside, he readjusted the way he was holding Lainey. “Have you still got the second crib in Roisin’s room?”


Juniper nodded. “There’s still another bed in there. I swapped Roisin to a proper bed recently, but the crib’s still in there just in case she wants it. Lainey’s fine to take it though.”

“Thanks.” He smiled at her and went into Roisin’s room to put Lainey into the spare crib.


When he came back out, Juniper was still waiting for him. “So, what happened? I didn’t really think that I’d be seeing you again.”

“Basically, you were right and I was a gullible and stupid idiot, and I’m sorry for what I said to you regarding her. I should’ve known better than to trust her again.” By ‘her’ Juniper figured that Nick meant Elle, and she also concluded that she did the exact same thing as she did the first time their relationship ended.


“I really am sorry to hear that.” And she did feel bad about what happened. She knew he was probably really beaten up about it; it broke her heart to see him upset like this. It wasn’t right seeing him upset as she was used to him joking around and being, well, happy.

Nick stayed quiet, looking away and feeling rather awkward as he did so. When he did speak, he mumbled. “Would it be okay if Lainey and I moved in again? Staying in a place which is too big with only a toddler as company is kinda…” Trailing off, he tried to come up with the right word.


“Depressing, I know.” Finishing his sentence, Juniper then nodded, smiled as she did. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’ve kinda missed having you around anyway.”

Smiling slightly back at her, Nick agreed. “I’ve kinda missed being here too. This place feels more like home, y’know?” And with that, he disappeared into his room.


AN: So, someone’s been catching up on my legacy (that person knows who they are 😉 ) but they’ve been doing it on the blogspot one, and it’s making me feel so nostalgic. It’s not so much the story, it’s more seeing how I used to be and how people responded to it. Like, seeing people say that they thought that Thomas was sweet for helping our Erin, and when someone mentioned that they had to get up at 3:30 (in the fucking morning, how the hell is that the morning?!) for their job.

It’s weird how seeing the comments I used to get, and seeing who was the first one to comment on it, and seeing it just makes me so happy, the fact that you guys actually took time to say such nice stuff about not gonna lie pretty bad writing, and goodness I’m just so thankful that you guys are so nice, and have the patience to listen/read as I blather on, and that you’ve done it for almost three years now…

Damn, that’s come by quickly, hasn’t it? Scary.

I guess, I just want to say a huge thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

There’s been ups, there have been downs. There have been teleporting buskers, fairy killing witches, promiscuous scientists who have phobias of fairies (despite the fact her job never really came up much, she did have that one though, I promise, lol), pretty blonde murderers and one specific pretty blonde murderer who can see into the future .

Again, I just want to say thank you, and that I really, really appreciate you guys.

And I know I don’t say this enough, but thank you for reading

~Carrie ♥

(i felt the need to sign this off because it feels formal)